People that would definitely not be named "Person of the Year" by Philadelphia rappers Black Deniro and Freeway: 1) The "Twitter Thug" 2) The "Fake Baller" 3) The "Bougie Chick" 4) The "Phone Gangster" 5) The "Goon Rat" 6) The "Sneaky Groupie"

Everybody makes eponymous albums. Rock bands with eponymous songs are rare. Bad Company has reunited for a summer U.S. tour. Who will go see them? Very, very old people.

Dear Black Sabbath,

I'm sorry I didn't vote for you in the "favorite band" poll Betsy Schroeder conducted for a science project when we were in seventh grade. After the initial round of questionnaires were filled out and tallied, you guys were tied for the lead with Men at Work. Somehow, stupidly, in the run-off, I voted for Men at Work. In fact (and I cringe at the memory) I joined Nicole Seitz and actually campaigned for Men at Work. Against you.

"A newly created form of antimatter is the heaviest and most complex anti-thing ever seen. Anti-helium nuclei, each containing two anti-protons and two anti-neutrons, have been created and detected at the Relativistic Heavy Ion Collider (RHIC) in Upton, New York." —The physicists at the Relativistic Heavy Ion Collider in Upton, New York have clearly miscalculated. The heaviest and most complex anti-thing ever seen is the missing tip of the middle finger of Tony Iommi's right hand. Everybody knows that.

My favorite and longest-running Dungeons and Dragons character, during the two or three years when playing the game was the most important thing in my life, was a Dwarf named Gimli. A chaotic good thief with a strength of 25 and a gruff, dogged demeanor like the Tolkien creation who inspired him, Gimli ransacked the castles and mountain lairs of Middle Earth with his compatriot, my friend Chris' wizard, Gandalf. It's hard to overstate the extent to which my own pre-pubescent identity was wrapped up with that of Gimli. I saw him as embodying all the qualities I hoped I might have in myself: courage, loyalty, a good sense of [...]

I am very much anti-gun in real life. So it's always disturbed me just how much I enjoy shoot-em-up gangster movies or war movies or rap songs. I'm not like a fetishist, for the weaponry itself. I don't have posters over my desk of women in bikinis firing Uzis or whatever. But I do like some tough-guy talk at the end of a barrel-on screen or through some speakers.

• Dave Walker (replaced Ozzy briefly in 1977 for one TV performance)

• Ian Gillan (ex-Deep Purple, vocals on 1983's Born Again)

• Glenn Hughes (ex-Deep Purple, vocals on 1986's Seventh Star)

• Don Airey (ex-Rainbow and Hammer keyboardist, played on Never Say Die)

• Vinny Appice (Tony Iommi look-alike, drums on Mob Rules, Live Evil, Dehumanizer, and several '90s reunion tours)