Because nothing makes popular music more fun than typing alongside friends, it's time to do that "liveblogging" thing in honor of the 2010 American Music Awards, which celebrate the most popular of the most popular music that this country has to offer, complete with the sort of pomp that only the most craven enterprises can possess. Join me after the jump for the Black Eyed Peas, Christina Aguilera, Katy (sigh) Perry, the results of allowing 13-year-olds to vote (online) (for their favorite male pop stars), and OMG NEW KIDS AND BACKSTREET BOYS TOGETHER!!

"It stank at the bank. It smelled at the law office. It reeked at the cafe. Even the jewelry store wasn't immune. Everyone in this tiny town could smell it, everywhere they went. A putrid odor so downright nasty the cleaners sent to mop up the gooey mess of liquefied meat-topped by a blanket of swarming white maggots and buzzed by a legion of flies-gave up after two days." Billboard magazine reports on the Black Eyed Peas astounding, horrifying, unbelievable 26-week run atop the national singles chart. Oh, no. Wait. That's from an Associated Press story about 44 tons of bison meat that was left for a year-and-a-half [...]

Raiding the worst of the 80s, the Black Eyed Peas have released a semi-cover of the improbably titled "(I've Had) The Time of My Life," the Dirty Dancing-enabled monster-smash duet of late 1987. Were you there? It was terrible. Fortunately, the BEP have reduced the title to "The Time" because, words r long. And then they took a bath in Autotune. It fits nicely in their genre of "it's Friday night, let's get dressed to go out and dance in the mirror and everything is going to be awwweesssoommme" music. (All that being said, the synthy verse beat part of the song is kind of great, it's undeniable.) [...]

Slate today takes the Black Eyed Peas to task for "selling out" with their new Target ad (above). Whether the concept of "selling out" still holds currency, one thing is definitely clear: Slate hates the Black Eyed Peas. Just like Perez!

Good news: The NFL has reportedly decided to book a relatively current musical act for its halftime show for the first time since the Super Bowl XXXVIII Nipple Flash! Bad news: That act is apparently the exactingly safe hip-pop collective the Black Eyed Peas. Mitigating factor: Maybe this means we won't see will.i.am during every other commercial break? [Via]