The Awl http://www.theawl.com/ Be Less Stupid Mon, 05 Dec 2011 17:00:47 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0.2 It’s A Wonderful Lie: Bank Fraud, Bailouts And Ponzi Schemes In Bedford Falls http://www.theawl.com/2011/12/it%e2%80%99s-a-wonderful-lie-bank-fraud-bailouts-and-ponzi-schemes-in-bedford-falls http://www.theawl.com/2011/12/it%e2%80%99s-a-wonderful-lie-bank-fraud-bailouts-and-ponzi-schemes-in-bedford-falls#comments Mon, 05 Dec 2011 17:00:47 +0000 Jon Methven http://www.theawl.com/2011/12/it%e2%80%99s-a-wonderful-lie-bank-fraud-bailouts-and-ponzi-schemes-in-bedford-falls

















Jon Methven is the author of This Is Your Captain Speaking, due out in 2012 by Simon & Schuster. He can be reached here, or follow him on Twitter @jonmethven.

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Jon Methven is the author of This Is Your Captain Speaking, due out in 2012 by Simon & Schuster. He can be reached here, or follow him on Twitter @jonmethven.

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Eleven Wizards Of Things Who Are Not Actual Wizards http://www.theawl.com/2011/02/eleven-wizards-of-things-who-are-not-actual-wizards http://www.theawl.com/2011/02/eleven-wizards-of-things-who-are-not-actual-wizards#comments Wed, 16 Feb 2011 11:30:15 +0000 Dave Bry http://www.theawl.com/2011/02/eleven-wizards-of-things-who-are-not-actual-wizards *The Wizard of Menlo Park

* The Wizard of Photography

* The Wizard of Bras

* The Wizard of Ahhs

* The other Wizard of Ahhs

* The Wizard of Gastronomy

* The Wizard of Gore

* The Wizard of Oz

* Ozzy Osbourne

* The Wizard of Poetry

* The Wizard of Lies

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*The Wizard of Menlo Park

* The Wizard of Photography

* The Wizard of Bras

* The Wizard of Ahhs

* The other Wizard of Ahhs

* The Wizard of Gastronomy

* The Wizard of Gore

* The Wizard of Oz

* Ozzy Osbourne

* The Wizard of Poetry

* The Wizard of Lies

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A Great View Will Help You Overlook A Lot Of Other Things http://www.theawl.com/2010/04/a-great-view-will-help-you-overlook-a-lot-of-other-things http://www.theawl.com/2010/04/a-great-view-will-help-you-overlook-a-lot-of-other-things#comments Wed, 07 Apr 2010 09:00:27 +0000 Alex Balk http://www.theawl.com/2010/04/a-great-view-will-help-you-overlook-a-lot-of-other-things "He was worried about the karma, but I just loved the terrace."
-Patsy Kahn explains her husband Al's initial reluctance to purchase the Upper East Side duplex most recently owned by Bernie Madoff. Toy mogul Kahn was eventually convinced, and the couple paid approximately $8 million for the apartment.

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"He was worried about the karma, but I just loved the terrace."
-Patsy Kahn explains her husband Al's initial reluctance to purchase the Upper East Side duplex most recently owned by Bernie Madoff. Toy mogul Kahn was eventually convinced, and the couple paid approximately $8 million for the apartment.

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Butner Federal Prison Inmate No. 61727-054 Beaten Up http://www.theawl.com/2010/03/butner-federal-prison-inmate-no-61727-054-beaten-up http://www.theawl.com/2010/03/butner-federal-prison-inmate-no-61727-054-beaten-up#comments Thu, 18 Mar 2010 11:10:16 +0000 Choire Sicha http://www.theawl.com/2010/03/butner-federal-prison-inmate-no-61727-054-beaten-up IN HAPPIER TIMES"Bernard Madoff, who is serving a 150-year sentence in North Carolina for running a fraud scheme that cost investors billions of dollars, was physically assaulted by another inmate in December, according to three people familiar with the matter.... The former inmate said the dispute centered on money the assailant thought he was owed by Mr. Madoff.... Mr. Madoff spends free time in the prison library on the weekends and often watches movies, including 'Lethal Weapon,' according to the former inmate. He said he chatted with the admitted Ponzi schemer on Saturdays in the library and asked for financial advice: 'He gave me ideas on my index funds.' Mr. Madoff advised him to diversify."

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IN HAPPIER TIMES"Bernard Madoff, who is serving a 150-year sentence in North Carolina for running a fraud scheme that cost investors billions of dollars, was physically assaulted by another inmate in December, according to three people familiar with the matter.... The former inmate said the dispute centered on money the assailant thought he was owed by Mr. Madoff.... Mr. Madoff spends free time in the prison library on the weekends and often watches movies, including 'Lethal Weapon,' according to the former inmate. He said he chatted with the admitted Ponzi schemer on Saturdays in the library and asked for financial advice: 'He gave me ideas on my index funds.' Mr. Madoff advised him to diversify."

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"Brooklyn's Bernie Madoff" Slightly More Downmarket Than Manhattan Analogue http://www.theawl.com/2009/09/brooklyns-bernie-madoff-slightly-more-downmarket-than-manhattan-analogue http://www.theawl.com/2009/09/brooklyns-bernie-madoff-slightly-more-downmarket-than-manhattan-analogue#comments Wed, 09 Sep 2009 10:00:06 +0000 Alex Balk http://www.theawl.com/2009/09/brooklyns-bernie-madoff-slightly-more-downmarket-than-manhattan-analogue Less pornyA day after news of the Lebanese Bernie Madoff comes word that Brooklyn has a Ponzi schemer of its very own. (Honestly, shouldn't all the Ponzi schemers have been flushed out by now? There's only so much longer that someone can be referred to as [Name of Location]'s Bernie Madoff.) Anyway, meet Philip Barry of Bay Ridge. Barry was charged yesterday with operating a $40 million scam. But were there any signs that might have made the friends and neighbors bilked by Barry over a period of 30 years suspicious?
Authorities say Barry used the money to pay his own bills and buy swaths of land to develop upstate in his own name – along with using it to run his porn business. Duped investors told The News yesterday they knew he had a side business selling DVDs and CDs on eBay – and some said they always suspected something fishy.
A porn-dealing eBay Power Seller? How could you not put your money with this guy?

Read more:

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Less pornyA day after news of the Lebanese Bernie Madoff comes word that Brooklyn has a Ponzi schemer of its very own. (Honestly, shouldn't all the Ponzi schemers have been flushed out by now? There's only so much longer that someone can be referred to as [Name of Location]'s Bernie Madoff.) Anyway, meet Philip Barry of Bay Ridge. Barry was charged yesterday with operating a $40 million scam. But were there any signs that might have made the friends and neighbors bilked by Barry over a period of 30 years suspicious?
Authorities say Barry used the money to pay his own bills and buy swaths of land to develop upstate in his own name – along with using it to run his porn business. Duped investors told The News yesterday they knew he had a side business selling DVDs and CDs on eBay – and some said they always suspected something fishy.
A porn-dealing eBay Power Seller? How could you not put your money with this guy?

Read more:

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Arab World Gets A Madoff Of Its Own http://www.theawl.com/2009/09/arab-world-gets-a-madoff-of-its-own http://www.theawl.com/2009/09/arab-world-gets-a-madoff-of-its-own#comments Tue, 08 Sep 2009 11:23:15 +0000 Alex Balk http://www.theawl.com/2009/09/arab-world-gets-a-madoff-of-its-own You are not aloneMeet the man described as Lebanon's Bernie Madoff: "Everyone trusted Salah Ezzedine. A billionaire Shia Muslim businessman and financier from southern Lebanon, he organised pilgrimages to Mecca, ran a major Beirut publishing house and a children's television station, held major investments in east European oil and iron conglomerates, and – much more to the point – was a close personal friend of very senior leaders of the Hizbollah. Indeed, many members of the world's most powerful and successful guerrilla movement, along with the families of their 'martyrs' in the war against Israel, placed both their faith and their inheritance in Mr Ezzedine's hands."

You can guess what happens next.

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You are not aloneMeet the man described as Lebanon's Bernie Madoff: "Everyone trusted Salah Ezzedine. A billionaire Shia Muslim businessman and financier from southern Lebanon, he organised pilgrimages to Mecca, ran a major Beirut publishing house and a children's television station, held major investments in east European oil and iron conglomerates, and – much more to the point – was a close personal friend of very senior leaders of the Hizbollah. Indeed, many members of the world's most powerful and successful guerrilla movement, along with the families of their 'martyrs' in the war against Israel, placed both their faith and their inheritance in Mr Ezzedine's hands."

You can guess what happens next.

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New Jersey Lt. Gov Adds Victimhood Status To Ticket http://www.theawl.com/2009/07/new-jersey-lt-gov-adds-victimhood-status-to-ticket http://www.theawl.com/2009/07/new-jersey-lt-gov-adds-victimhood-status-to-ticket#comments Mon, 27 Jul 2009 10:00:56 +0000 Alex Balk http://www.theawl.com/2009/07/new-jersey-lt-gov-adds-victimhood-status-to-ticket New Jersey itself is a Ponzi scheme, so there's a nice symmetry hereNew Jersey Governor Jon Corzine's choice for lieutenant governor (a new office in the Garden State) is Loretta Weinberg, "the first Bernie Madoff victim to run for public office." Plus, she describes herself as a "feisty Jewish grandmother," so she may have a good line on a kidney if you need one.

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New Jersey itself is a Ponzi scheme, so there's a nice symmetry hereNew Jersey Governor Jon Corzine's choice for lieutenant governor (a new office in the Garden State) is Loretta Weinberg, "the first Bernie Madoff victim to run for public office." Plus, she describes herself as a "feisty Jewish grandmother," so she may have a good line on a kidney if you need one.

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Prison Will Be An Uncomfortable Experience For Bernie Madoff http://www.theawl.com/2009/06/prison-will-be-an-uncomfortable-experience-for-bernie-madoff http://www.theawl.com/2009/06/prison-will-be-an-uncomfortable-experience-for-bernie-madoff#comments Tue, 30 Jun 2009 09:20:59 +0000 Alex Balk http://www.theawl.com/2009/06/prison-will-be-an-uncomfortable-experience-for-bernie-madoff Bernie MadoffNotes on incarceration: "The severity of Madoff's sentence changes his options. A lighter sentence might have allowed Madoff's team to negotiate his placement from medium security to low, based mostly on his age and notoriety, says [attorney Alan] Ellis; a 150-year sentence means he will now have to lobby to go from high security to medium. Medium security facilities look similar to low-security institutions, but the inmates are much more likely to be inside for violent crimes. If Madoff gets medium security, says [sentencing consultant John] Webster, 'He will be assaulted, there's no doubt about that.' It's that much of a certainty? 'God, yes. Oh, God, yes.'"

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Bernie MadoffNotes on incarceration: "The severity of Madoff's sentence changes his options. A lighter sentence might have allowed Madoff's team to negotiate his placement from medium security to low, based mostly on his age and notoriety, says [attorney Alan] Ellis; a 150-year sentence means he will now have to lobby to go from high security to medium. Medium security facilities look similar to low-security institutions, but the inmates are much more likely to be inside for violent crimes. If Madoff gets medium security, says [sentencing consultant John] Webster, 'He will be assaulted, there's no doubt about that.' It's that much of a certainty? 'God, yes. Oh, God, yes.'"

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Madoff Sentenced Forever http://www.theawl.com/2009/06/madoff-sentenced-forever http://www.theawl.com/2009/06/madoff-sentenced-forever#comments Mon, 29 Jun 2009 11:36:56 +0000 Alex Balk http://www.theawl.com/2009/06/madoff-sentenced-forever Now and foreverBernie Madoff has been sentenced to 150 years in prison for his Ponzi scheme. That's the maximum sentence, although Madoff has reportedly hinted that he could turn it into 350 for you with almost no risk. Anyway, now that justice has been done, our nation's most entrepreneurial swindlers can get started on the next great scam.

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Now and foreverBernie Madoff has been sentenced to 150 years in prison for his Ponzi scheme. That's the maximum sentence, although Madoff has reportedly hinted that he could turn it into 350 for you with almost no risk. Anyway, now that justice has been done, our nation's most entrepreneurial swindlers can get started on the next great scam.

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Madoff Lawyer Requests Light Sentence http://www.theawl.com/2009/06/madoff-lawyer-requests-light-sentence http://www.theawl.com/2009/06/madoff-lawyer-requests-light-sentence#comments Tue, 23 Jun 2009 13:39:08 +0000 Alex Balk http://www.theawl.com/2009/06/madoff-lawyer-requests-light-sentence Go easy on himUh, yeah, good luck with that: "Attempting to mitigate a maximum sentence of 150 years for a client whose name has become synonymous with greed, defense attorney Ira Lee Sorkin of Dickstein Shapiro asked a federal judge this morning to set aside the 'hysteria' generated by of the largest Ponzi scheme in history and give Mr. Madoff only 12 years in prison. In a letter to Southern District Judge Denny Chin, Mr. Sorkin argued as a fallback that a 15-to-20 year term would accomplish the goals of the sentencing laws 'without disproportionately punishing' Mr. Madoff."

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Go easy on himUh, yeah, good luck with that: "Attempting to mitigate a maximum sentence of 150 years for a client whose name has become synonymous with greed, defense attorney Ira Lee Sorkin of Dickstein Shapiro asked a federal judge this morning to set aside the 'hysteria' generated by of the largest Ponzi scheme in history and give Mr. Madoff only 12 years in prison. In a letter to Southern District Judge Denny Chin, Mr. Sorkin argued as a fallback that a 15-to-20 year term would accomplish the goals of the sentencing laws 'without disproportionately punishing' Mr. Madoff."

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