Butner Federal Prison Inmate No. 61727-054 Beaten Up @11:10 AM
"Bernard Madoff, who is serving a 150-year sentence in North Carolina for running a fraud scheme that cost investors billions of dollars, was physically assaulted by another inmate in December, according to three people familiar with the matter…. The former inmate said the dispute centered on money the assailant thought he was owed by Mr. Madoff…. Mr. Madoff spends free time in the prison library on the weekends and often watches movies, including 'Lethal Weapon,' according to the former inmate. He said he chatted with the admitted Ponzi schemer on Saturdays in the library and asked for financial advice: 'He gave me ideas on my index funds.' Mr. Madoff advised him to diversify." 2
"Brooklyn's Bernie Madoff" Slightly More Downmarket Than Manhattan Analogue @10:00 AM
A day after news of the Lebanese Bernie Madoff comes word that Brooklyn has a Ponzi schemer of its very own. (Honestly, shouldn't all the Ponzi schemers have been flushed out by now? There's only so much longer that someone can be referred to as [Name of Location]'s Bernie Madoff.) Anyway, meet Philip Barry of Bay Ridge. Barry was charged yesterday with operating a $40 million scam. But were there any signs that might have made the friends and neighbors bilked by Barry over a period of 30 years suspicious? READ MORE 4
Arab World Gets A Madoff Of Its Own @11:23 AM
Meet the man described as Lebanon's Bernie Madoff: "Everyone trusted Salah Ezzedine. A billionaire Shia Muslim businessman and financier from southern Lebanon, he organised pilgrimages to Mecca, ran a major Beirut publishing house and a children's television station, held major investments in east European oil and iron conglomerates, and – much more to the point – was a close personal friend of very senior leaders of the Hizbollah. Indeed, many members of the world's most powerful and successful guerrilla movement, along with the families of their 'martyrs' in the war against Israel, placed both their faith and their inheritance in Mr Ezzedine's hands."
New Jersey Lt. Gov Adds Victimhood Status To Ticket @10:00 AM
New Jersey Governor Jon Corzine's choice for lieutenant governor (a new office in the Garden State) is Loretta Weinberg, "the first Bernie Madoff victim to run for public office." Plus, she describes herself as a "feisty Jewish grandmother," so she may have a good line on a kidney if you need one. 8
Prison Will Be An Uncomfortable Experience For Bernie Madoff @9:20 AM
Notes on incarceration: "The severity of Madoff's sentence changes his options. A lighter sentence might have allowed Madoff's team to negotiate his placement from medium security to low, based mostly on his age and notoriety, says [attorney Alan] Ellis; a 150-year sentence means he will now have to lobby to go from high security to medium. Medium security facilities look similar to low-security institutions, but the inmates are much more likely to be inside for violent crimes. If Madoff gets medium security, says [sentencing consultant John] Webster, 'He will be assaulted, there's no doubt about that.' It's that much of a certainty? 'God, yes. Oh, God, yes.'" 15
Madoff Sentenced Forever @11:36 AM
Bernie Madoff has been sentenced to 150 years in prison for his Ponzi scheme. That's the maximum sentence, although Madoff has reportedly hinted that he could turn it into 350 for you with almost no risk. Anyway, now that justice has been done, our nation's most entrepreneurial swindlers can get started on the next great scam. 4
Madoff Lawyer Requests Light Sentence @1:39 PM
Uh, yeah, good luck with that: "Attempting to mitigate a maximum sentence of 150 years for a client whose name has become synonymous with greed, defense attorney Ira Lee Sorkin of Dickstein Shapiro asked a federal judge this morning to set aside the 'hysteria' generated by of the largest Ponzi scheme in history and give Mr. Madoff only 12 years in prison. In a letter to Southern District Judge Denny Chin, Mr. Sorkin argued as a fallback that a 15-to-20 year term would accomplish the goals of the sentencing laws 'without disproportionately punishing' Mr. Madoff." 4
Bernie Madoff's Happy Ending @9:29 AM
Bernie Madoff liked handjobs. 4
Bernie Madoff sounds like he was a difficult person to work for @9:50 AM
You're probably Bernie Madoff'd out by now, but in case you've still got some interest, there is an absolutely mammoth piece in Fortune that will take you the whole weekend to read. Anyway, here's the part that jumped out at me:
Madoff took another step. He decreed that e-mails would no longer be stored electronically. First he decided that each of the firm's e-mails would be printed and then stored in boxes, but he was persuaded by others that such a plan was impractical. In the end, Madoff ordered that old e-mails be transferred to microfiche, a cumbersome process that costs much more than archiving the records digitally. Why would Madoff want to increase his archiving costs? Perhaps it had to do with the fact that microfiche is orders of magnitude more difficult to search than electronic records.
You know, it used to be that when your boss issued some erratic, nonsensical declaration resulting in massive inefficiency you could simply console yourself with the fact that he did it because he was an irrational dickhead. Now you've got to worry that he might be running a giant con game too? Life's just hard. 7
Bernie Madoff Gets A Visitor! @7:36 AM
Bernie Madoff had his first conjugal visit late yesterday. I wonder if he will ever find the afikomen she left in his 7.5-by-8 foot double-bunk cell. 0
