We get mail! In fact, we are on some crazy email lists, including one run by some guy named Tony Caputo. (He needs a Tumblr, bad!) Today he finds hope for the future in the writings of Ben Stein, who is the only Jew he likes. (Besides Jesus, I guess.) Good work, Ben Stein-your ramblings from 2005, about how Christmas bushes are fine with you, have put you in good company in the (mostly imaginary! Except to crazies!) culture wars.

Dear Ben Stein's new column in Fortune; Do you know how much college costs for many, many Americans? No, not $70,000 a year. The answer is: nothing! Not a thing. Yes, sure, some bus tickets. Some books. But other than that, nothing. Because they do not pay tuition, and if you weren't rich, neither would your children, but you are rich, so pay, because you can, and that is how capitalism works, for now. P.S. Stop panicking about the declining white birth rate, it's embarrassing and also puts you in bad racist company. It doesn't mean anything bad that the black and brown people are out-breeding you, unless you are a racist. P.P.S. Felix Salmon thinks you are a monstrous monster, and it's hard to disagree, because, wow.

Fired New York Times business contributor Ben Stein is sad. Particularly, he's sad "that the Internet has become a backyard gossip freeway for the whole world's sick people to pour out their neuroses." Well what else did he expect it to become? Also he forgot the part about how it's good for getting gay sex. Anyway, here is a small list of Stein's delusions regarding his firing.