Get excited for summer, because experts are predicting a bedbug infestation explosion. "I firmly believe that this year is going to be worse than last year," says researcher Jeffrey White. There is also this, which is news to me and extremely disturbing: "Check your laptop. The bedbugs are attracted to the heat and body oils on the computer." GAH. I suppose I will have to re-read this piece soon. I'm already itchy with anticipation.
"As part of the bargain that kept JetBlue Airways from moving its headquarters from Queens to Orlando, state tourism officials agreed to let the airline mesh the iconic I â™¥ NY logo with its own," blogs the bloggers of the New York Times today. (What else did Jet Blue get from the government? Who knows!) Anyway, the blog proposes a contest! Wherein they get all their readers to violate the trademarks of corporate logos and propose new meshings with the I Heart NY logo. Well, here's our submission. It deals with a brand that's a real up-and-comer-it's got a great identity with a visceral impact.
It started with three little red dots, an Orion's belt on my arm. "Spider bites," I told myself. But out of curiosity, I asked my roommate whether she had any bites too.
"Oh yeah, a bunch, actually," she said, and proceeded to show me clusters of bites on her stomach, arms and legs.
"Why haven't you said anything until now?!" I asked.
"They don't itch, I didn't think they were anything to worry about," she said. If there's a hall of fame for famous last words, this probably deserves a spot on the wall. What ensued were weeks of largely sleepless nights punctuated by nightmares galore, and blood, [...]
I know nastiness is SO 2009 because 2010 is going to be deep-fried rainbows in effusive sauce but I can't help but be anything besides pshaw at the news that New York City's vintage stores are going out of business. Hey, it's not like I don't enjoy other people's underwear, bias-cut velvet shit, and keen little heels in a women's size 4 AA but um, hi, as far as business models go, I just don't see the appeal of buying pre-owned crap at extortionate prices just because there's a hangtag that says all eight of the shearling vests are from the '70s. I mean, seriously, why so expensive?
"Taking the Bite out of the Holidays is a charitable effort sponsored by BedBug Central that is offering free bed bug services to those in need who are suffering from bed bug infestations and do not have the means to better their situation this holiday season." Apply here. Sure, I'm also giggling about this a little but BEDBUGS and POVERTY AREN'T FUNNY, SO.
Yesterday was moving day in Boston, and the city's many college students were forced to confront the pest that is eating America: bedbugs. The New York Times shows that while some of our young scholars are blase about the bloodsuckers, there are signs that others, at least, have their priorities straight.
I think that, as New Yorkers, we should pretty much just accept that we're all going to get bedbugs at some point soon. They are unavoidable, like Duane Reade or piss on the sidewalk. I'm itchy already.
Another Manhattan store has been shut down because of a bedbug infestation! The Abercrombie & Fitch at the South Street Seaport — which, it should be noted, is a corporate cousin of the Hollister store in Soho that was invaded by bedbugs earlier this week — has closed its doors to deal with what it is delicately calling "a similar problem." This coincidence has got the Ohio-based company a little freaked out: "Abercrombie chairman and CEO Michael S. Jeffries asked for 'leadership and guidance' on how best to address the problem." But he was rebuffed by the DOH, a spokeswoman for which said, "It is the responsibility of [...]
Don't you get the sense that, in this over-Twittered, hyper-Tumblr'd time, that Halloween is going to be super-competitive this year? I'm almost scared to go out dressed as this ____. (Not telling!) Yet here are some more costume ideas from The Morning News, with frugality in mind. Including this bit, from Paul Ford: "Get a plastic saucer-sled ($10 or so) and attach two fake arms to it, then hang that off your shoulders. Put on a little nightcap and a pair of pajamas. Congratulations, you're a bedbug! Now go to a party. Be kind of obnoxious. Refuse to get off the sofa. After a few minutes, say [...]
The bedbug epidemic continues its evolution from news event to cautionary tale to trend piece, and the Wall Street Journal digs in, with this item on The Way We Date Now, which does helpfully note that it is "still easier to get herpes than bedbugs." (The key word being still.) Anyway, the combination of dating and bedbugs is pretty much all the excuse I need to put up this video of Isabella Rossellini exploring the mating habits of the little critters. If you haven't seen it yet you are in for a treat.
A press release in our mailbox! "New York State Assemblymember Linda B. Rosenthal (D/WF, Manhattan) announced that her legislation requiring landlords to disclose to prospective tenants any history of bedbug infestation in the apartment building and individual unit within the past year was signed into law by Governor Paterson today…. Assemblymember Rosenthal (D/WF) represents the Upper West Side of Manhattan and parts of Clinton/Hell's Kitchen." You mean CLINTON/BEDBUG'S KITCHEN.
"Because the female bedbug has no genital opening, the male inseminates her by using his hardened, sharpened genitalia to punch a hole through her abdomen. With no elaborate courtship ritual, males in a frenzied pursuit of sexual congress often blunder into and puncture the bodies of other males, occasionally inflicting fatal wounds." -Good news about bedbugs: They only want to anesthetize us while we're sleeping, bite holes in our skin, administer an anticoagulant and suck up to three times their own bodyweight of our blood in each ten-minute feeding session-not have sex with us! The bad news is, they're spreading basically unimpeded throughout our cities now because the [...]
"Happily, the bugs need to eat only once a month or less, he said. 'It's not so bad. You can hardly feel it.' A few days later at his home, Mr. Ecker demonstrated, tipping a vial of bugs onto his forearm, which the critters latched on to like hungry newborns, their bodies quickly swelling with blood." It gets grosser-so you may stop reading here or come and soldier bravely on with us.