What's so vexing about this whole Miss California story is that while it appears to be almost the very definition of "infotainment," it actually contains within it one of the more important topics in our current discourse. It's almost like we've become so stupid as a nation that the only way we can really bring the debate about gay marriage to the center of public consciousness is through the vacuous rantings of an android made from bleach and silicon. And while iconic portraitist Perez Hilton and perpetual cynosure Donald Trump only are the thumbs on the fluff side of the scale here, even the revelation that she posed for boobie pictures can't obscure the fact that there's a larger issue in play. Thank God a serious public figure has finally weighed in. READ MORE

As a service to those of you who are inclined to click through on TMZ's new set of topless Miss California photos, fair warning: they've blocked all the nipples. And, really, without nipples what's the point? It's the pageview-baiting version of empty calories. Ignore.[Via ASSME, a site less titillating than the name would lead one to believe.]

OMG, porpoise-disguised-as-human-being Michael Phelps is supposedly dating that beauty pageant lady who likes her gays single! But can we believe it? Considering the source, yes! Because you don't pay for that kind of story unless it's totally true.