Eric Lefranc, 40, who took the photograph while cruising in the area, doubted the cub would survive.

"If she was able to leave her baby, the mother would probably have survived but our guide was quite pessimistic about the survival of the cub, who probably drowned," he said.

"Some of the members on our trip were in despair. They wanted to take the bears with us and bring them to the nearest land which was obviously impossible."

Yeah, I'm going to stick with the expert opinion. They're both FINE. In fact, they are probably frolicking together right now. Right?

[Extremely tangentially related.]

The money was raised for the WWF which it turns out has nothing to do with wrestling and everything to do with some charity involving a large and supercute panda logo but I don't think the Stephen Sprouse-ish nod to the "Bob Qui?" is the tack to take especially since "Bob Quoi the Fuck?" really gets to the heart of the matter.

Seriously, is he dreaming exclusively in ugly these days? It's so embarrassing how doddering and oldtimey it is to trick out SpongeBob, it's SO Pharrell, SO Nigo, SO Russell Simmons. The Kaiser is now openly pelting us with fistfuls of cudgeled shit from what is seemingly an inexhaustible pile of shit that maybe costs $400,0000 a year to climate control. Let's do nothing about it.

Once upon a time, long time ago, in a family with a small daughter the woman died. The father remarried a woman who also had a daughter. But the step-mother loved her child more and made the step-child do all the housework. And she was never satisfied. Once, when it was very cold, she gave the step-child black wool and told her to wash it till it becomes white. "Or else, don't return home!", said the step-mother. The small girl put the wool on her shoulder and went to the river. She began washing but… the black wool never became white. Frozen all over, the child sat on the bank and cried. Immediately an old man with a white beard appeared in front of her. "Why are you crying, child?", asked the old man gently. The girl told him everything and the good man said: "Put the wool on your shoulder, go back home and don't be afraid." Then suddenly he disappeared.

The child went home, knocked on the closed door for a while and when the evil step-mother opened the door she was struck – in front of her a golden girl was standing and shining like the sun itself. She became even more angry when she understood how the child turned golden and decided to send her own child as well, so it becomes golden too. She dressed it well, gave it wool and sent it to the river. The little girl quickly reached the river, threw away the wool for she had no intention to wash it and sat on the bank. She waited and waited but nobody came. She was all frozen and started crying. In a moment the man with the white beard appeared. "Why are you crying, child?", the old man asked. "I'm waiting for you, old man," the girl answered in a rude voice, "I want you to make me gold and go back home." "All right, my girl, put the wool on your shoulder and go back home," the old man said and disappeared. The girl grabbed the wool and ran home. The step-mother, on hearing her steps, quickly opened the door but closed it on the moment, for in front of her was standing a big black bear. The old man punished the evil step-mother by turning her child into a bear.

Some punishment. Bears are awesome!

Like what about Robert Pattinson? Or Levi Johnston? Adam Lambert? Or Jóhanna Sigurðardóttir?

Or you know, does anyone remember Neda Agha-Soltan? (No?)

We know who we're debating as Awl Person of the Year. It's between this guy:

And this guy:

Only because Bearforce1 broke up. :(

Workers in the area say that once in awhile the bears must climb down at night, because they`ve seen them climbing back up the tree in the morning.

"We consulted several folks that we know that do bear research and they really hadn't heard of it…. Some of the explanations might be its out in a very unusual place for bears. Bears are forest creatures and this is a bear that's out in an agricultural dominated area, so it might only be able to find refuge in that spot."

I think we all know where this is heading: Soon enough, bears will take to the skies, raining down their terrible vengeance upon all of us, but particularly those of us driving minivans. Now might be a good time to pray.

Pig hearts are like our hearts, he said, pigs metabolize drugs as we do, their teeth resemble our teeth, and their habits can, too. "I look at the pig as a great animal model for human lifestyle diseases," he said. "Pigs like to lie around, they like to drink if given the chance, they'll smoke and watch TV."

Pigs also understand how mirrors work, and can play videogames with joysticks.