At three in the afternoon when my daughter was about four weeks old, I hit a wall. With my fist, though not very hard, because I was trying to be as quiet as possible. Another day that week, I went into the bathroom, all the lights turned off, and screamed into a towel. Again, I didn't want to make very much noise, because my four-week-old daughter was "sleeping."
There are lots of tiny and useless nuggets of wisdom parents-to-be are given. My favorite is: "Sleep when your baby sleeps." But in the early days, she was never clearly sleeping, and any moment of silence from her corridor meant that we [...]
This is hard to believe, but it turns out that exposing children to the bright screens and flickering lights of television may not in fact help soothe them. The good news is now we also have tablets and smartphones with which to instruct children that they need never be alone with their own thoughts when there is a surface nearby on which something will pop up to provide distraction, so soon enough everyone will be ruined for sustained contemplation and we will thus hasten along this species' destruction in a way that simply fucking up the planet through development and use of fossil fuels might not achieve on its [...]
"Finnbar! Get in the stroller right now, I mean it!" #brooklyn
— Sam Dolnick (@samdolnick) March 26, 2014
Monarchical spawning excitement gripping the Internet reveals once again that royalty doesn't export well to the United States. We think it's cute. A baby! It's just like Mariah Carey or Jenny McCarthy having a baby to us. It's not: this is a baby born to a long line of beheaders and global pillagers. (So, really, not that different from some of our own celebrity babies.) In reality, this is a very nervous-making day for the Commonwealth, a day on which the cruel tricks of genetics and chance provide any manner of person to possibly be the vastly enriched head of a government (technically "state," PEDANTS point out, but the [...]
"With the warmer weather coming, Caribou Baby’s owner Adriane Stare — who held her bare-bottomed baby Loren atop a cloth diaper as she whispered 'sissss' to him to cue a pee during the discussion — told the group she’d soon open the center's backyard to let babies roam diaper-free outside."
Mad scientists have recreated an extinct frog known for puking up its own babies, hooray for science! The gastric-brooding frog, or Rheobatrachus silus, is described by the Daily Mail as being "long extinct" because the last one died in … 1983. That was a long time ago! Luckily, early forms of refrigeration existed in 1983, so one of the last of these extinct frogs was kept in a freezer all this time.
'We are watching Lazarus arise from the dead, step by exciting step,' said Mike Archer, a professor at the University of New South Wales and the leader of the Lazarus Project team. 'We’ve reactivated dead cells into [...]
Devices like iPhones have a unique name, a string that is usually called a "universally unique identifier." That the word "unique" doesn't ever need any modifier is, I guess, beside the point. It's not just unique, it's unique in the whooooole universe. Sometimes they call it a globally unique identifier. Heh. Anyway, a UUID is 32 characters and four hyphens. There are, according to the math whizzes on Wikipedia, 39 digits in the number representing 32 possible combinations of letters and numbers. That's a really big number, more than there are people, for sure.
This is a helpful thing, for obvious reasons. Wouldn't it be amazing if every human had [...]