"NYPD Commissioner Kelly issues memo to clarify Indians are Asian"
This amazing and totally REAL. Seriously, watch this man, he is a talent. You start off all "Oh, hell naw" and then all your doubt disappears because when he's done it's as if the pretty slanty lady will springroll up off that page and make you some ill dumplings with her tiny feet because she is that dexterous and also obliging. I swear to God her wanton skins are as delicate as whispered magic. Try it. So beautiful.
I don't know much about the special election for California's 36th Congressional District, but I do know that candidate Dan Adler loves Chinese food. He must, he's Jewish. It's like a law or something. Also, THIS AD IS AMAZING. [Via]
"But if you try laughing and it doesn't work, the next step might be simply to try avoidance. Easier said than done, of course, if your wife has masses of Asian friends and you are completely steeped in Asian women, but if it's just a matter of your going all funny when you see one in a bar, then the answer would be simply to keep them out of eyeshot and turn away." -Agony aunt Virginia Ironside advises a reader who has a worrying obsession with Asian women.
Nearly fifteen years after it was declared that Asians are the new Jews, Elena Kagan's nomination to the Supreme Court apparently means that Jews are the new WASPS. I'm not sure what it all signifies, but clearly there is an opportunity somewhere for an ethnic group with moxie and hustle to snap up the vacancy these two promotions have created. I'd suggest Italians, but, you know.
Texas State Rep. to Asian-Americans: "Rather than everyone here having to learn Chinese-I understand it's a rather difficult language-do you think that it would behoove you and your citizens to adopt a name that we could deal with more readily here?"
No points for guessing her party affiliation.