My office was the living room closet in a huge one-bedroom in a 1920s East Hollywood apartment court, across the street from the big blue Scientology headquarters in the old Cedars of Lebanon Hospital. There were built-in bookshelves and just enough space for a chair and a laptop and an ashtray. The neighbor lady's rescued pit bulls romped outside in the overgrown garden, and that electric L.A. sunlight came filtered through the grimy old French windows to the hardwood floors. It was a very pleasant place to work, my friends lived within walking distance in other cheap apartments in Los Feliz, and I had a bad case of being in [...]
Spawned by a stern former Nazi Sturmabteilunger who disliked him and believed that he was someone else's son, Arnold Schwarzenegger spent years torturing his body into an exaggerated caricature. This expression of dysmorphia led him on a path to riches in America's film industry, much as dysmorphic expressions of emaciation do for women. After accumulating tens of millions of dollars, it seemed a convenient parlay of attention and cash into running the whole state in which the film industry resided, and he announced his campaign for governor of California on the "Tonight Show with Jay Leno."
To this day, no one knows how tall he is.
Dark times in California, with the state facing a $21 billion budget deficit after voters rejected a series of ballot initiatives intended to fill the gaps. Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger, who supported the measures so fervently that he spent election day touring the state to rally voters in Washington with President Obama, says the message is loud and clear.
Robots: friendly helpers or heartless monsters that will destroy humanity? This is no longer just a question for the movies that play all the time on "Spike" or TNT. As you may or may not have noticed, aggressor nations such as the United States are getting out of the people business when it comes to fighting wars. Drones and robots are where the action is today, because drones don't urinate on the corpses of innocent people in Afghanistan, and drones don't burn the Koran, and drones don't come home missing a couple of limbs or a chunk of brain and end up standing alongside a freeway ramp with a [...]
"By posting items online, Californians and people from other states and around the world can participate in the Great California Garage Sale. This is a win-win for the state and for shoppers. Together we are eliminating waste and providing great deals in this tough economy. I encourage everyone to log on or attend this great event." -California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger promotes the state's online sale of unneeded office supplies, automobiles, confiscated items and other accessories.
When I heard the new Total Recall had remained true to its predecessor by including a mutant three-breasted hooker (newcomer Kaitlyn Leeb, who's already steeping in the positive and negative attention associated with such a role), my elation turned bittersweet when I realized how little I knew about Lycia Naff, the actress who originated the role in Paul Verhoeven's 1990 blockbuster. Even in a movie teeming with compelling females in thankless minor roles—the "two weeks" woman; the grotendously disfigured mutant fortuneteller; the wee, Uzi-toting Thumbelina—Naff's performance became downright totemic. Verhoeven's entire vision of man's future balances on her prosthetically enhanced bustline.
Right after Total Recall, Naff earned [...]
California is spiraling down the crapper rapidly! The state will entirely run out of money next month, and will then close up shop and call it a day, leaving citizens to eat each other for sustenance and travel solely by foot and bicycle and on the back of the weak who become slaves to the strong. The governor's plan is to suspend healthcare for nearly a million children and to take all the money from the schools. (No, really, that's his plan! Yes!) Unfortunately, the Democrats' plan is just to spend the little remaining reserve money left and hope everything works out. Gah! The good choice, which is not [...]