The Awl http://www.theawl.com/ Be Less Stupid Tue, 26 Oct 2010 15:40:19 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0.2 Bad Things Happen To Diplo http://www.theawl.com/2010/10/bad-things-happen-to-diplo http://www.theawl.com/2010/10/bad-things-happen-to-diplo#comments Tue, 26 Oct 2010 15:40:19 +0000 Dave Bry http://www.theawl.com/2010/10/bad-things-happen-to-diplo
Do you dislike the Blackberry Torch commercial wherein the faintly-mustacheod techno producer Diplo says, "I can't believe that people are actually paying me to travel across the world and collect new influences, build new sounds with different artists..." and then proceeds to mostly show-off how super rich and fabulous he is? If so, you might enjoy watching the video everybody's favorite Taiwanese digital news source Next Media Animation made for his new song with the never-not-crunk Atlanta rap star, Lil Jon. It's awesome. Diplo gets his comeuppance, and then some. (Also, depending on your tolerance for grating techno beats and aggressive shouting, you may want to watch it with the sound turned down.)

Here's the annoying Blackberry commercial, in case you don't have a TV.

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Do you dislike the Blackberry Torch commercial wherein the faintly-mustacheod techno producer Diplo says, "I can't believe that people are actually paying me to travel across the world and collect new influences, build new sounds with different artists..." and then proceeds to mostly show-off how super rich and fabulous he is? If so, you might enjoy watching the video everybody's favorite Taiwanese digital news source Next Media Animation made for his new song with the never-not-crunk Atlanta rap star, Lil Jon. It's awesome. Diplo gets his comeuppance, and then some. (Also, depending on your tolerance for grating techno beats and aggressive shouting, you may want to watch it with the sound turned down.)

Here's the annoying Blackberry commercial, in case you don't have a TV.

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]]> http://www.theawl.com/2010/10/bad-things-happen-to-diplo/feed 1 Is The iPhone the Hummer of Cellphones? http://www.theawl.com/2009/09/is-the-iphone-the-hummer-of-cellphones http://www.theawl.com/2009/09/is-the-iphone-the-hummer-of-cellphones#comments Thu, 03 Sep 2009 14:30:12 +0000 Choire Sicha http://www.theawl.com/2009/09/is-the-iphone-the-hummer-of-cellphones HUMMSIES!This has been irritating me all day, and I can't walk away: "the iPhone is really the Hummer of cellphones." Oh is it? No, actually, it is the springtime of life for the iPhone and it is the Hummer of Death™ for the Hummer. What else?

Hummer: Made originally on contract for the U.S. Military, as the Hum-Vee.
iPhone: Made originally for urban homosexualists and their friends.

Hummer: Very early 90s.
iPhone: Very late-mid-00s.

Hummer: Actually consumes "gasoline"!
iPhone: Consumes bandwidth, which is not always fossil-fuel based.

Hummer: Made in South Africa, Russia, Indiana and maybe someday in China.
iPhone: Always made in Shenzhen!

Hummer: Always works!
iPhone: Usually works!

Hummer: Miles per gallon, 9 to 16.
iPhone: Miles per gallon, a big fat 0.

Hummer: Is somewhat subsidized for purchase in our socialist government, as The State allows deductions for vehicles weighing more than 6000 pounds.
iPhone: Is subject to an astonishingly offensive exclusive and unregulated agreement between the manufacturer and service provider.

Hummer: Is made of dead babies.
iPhone: Now has a removable lithium ion battery, so not as not to be quite as pollutive.

Hummer: Sales in 2008 down 50% from 2007.
iPhone: Sales in 2008 up 88% from 2007.

Hummer: Drivers 11% more likely to die, according to study with dubious math.
iPhone: According to a statistic I just made up, iPhone users are 15% more likely to die while sexting on the road.

Hummer: Bloats the junkyards of America with its indestructible carcasses.
iPhone: Now recycles all phones in North America, instead of dumping it in the third world.

Hummer: Current sales forecasts are for dozens a month.
iPhone: Has more than 6 million owners in the U.S.

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]]> HUMMSIES!This has been irritating me all day, and I can't walk away: "the iPhone is really the Hummer of cellphones." Oh is it? No, actually, it is the springtime of life for the iPhone and it is the Hummer of Death™ for the Hummer. What else?

Hummer: Made originally on contract for the U.S. Military, as the Hum-Vee.
iPhone: Made originally for urban homosexualists and their friends.

Hummer: Very early 90s.
iPhone: Very late-mid-00s.

Hummer: Actually consumes "gasoline"!
iPhone: Consumes bandwidth, which is not always fossil-fuel based.

Hummer: Made in South Africa, Russia, Indiana and maybe someday in China.
iPhone: Always made in Shenzhen!

Hummer: Always works!
iPhone: Usually works!

Hummer: Miles per gallon, 9 to 16.
iPhone: Miles per gallon, a big fat 0.

Hummer: Is somewhat subsidized for purchase in our socialist government, as The State allows deductions for vehicles weighing more than 6000 pounds.
iPhone: Is subject to an astonishingly offensive exclusive and unregulated agreement between the manufacturer and service provider.

Hummer: Is made of dead babies.
iPhone: Now has a removable lithium ion battery, so not as not to be quite as pollutive.

Hummer: Sales in 2008 down 50% from 2007.
iPhone: Sales in 2008 up 88% from 2007.

Hummer: Drivers 11% more likely to die, according to study with dubious math.
iPhone: According to a statistic I just made up, iPhone users are 15% more likely to die while sexting on the road.

Hummer: Bloats the junkyards of America with its indestructible carcasses.
iPhone: Now recycles all phones in North America, instead of dumping it in the third world.

Hummer: Current sales forecasts are for dozens a month.
iPhone: Has more than 6 million owners in the U.S.

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