"Silvio Berlusconi was at the centre of fresh controversy tonight after claims emerged he had insulted Germany's Chancellor Angela Merkel. The Italian prime minister, 74, is accused of making a disgusting comment about her during a telephone conversation with a newspaper editor. The alleged remarks – too vulgar to repeat but referred to sex and Mrs Merkel's physique – were picked up by investigators probing a £660,000 blackmail plot against Mr Berlusconi."

Despite the perorations of one very busty supporter, Frank-Walter Steinmeier's Social Democrats took a drubbing at the polls in Germany's parliamentary elections, receiving its worst results since the country's reunification. Chancellor Angela Merkel's Conservative party also fared poorly, but a strong showing for the Free Democrats ensures she will continue on, this time at the head of a far more conservative coalition. In other news for Merkel, publicity-hungry Irish bookmaker Paddy Power gives 3-1 odds that she will be the next world leader insulted by Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi. So there's that.