"He did it because his friend was taking too long to return with beer."

"A fight started and the cop and his friend each punched a man in the face."

"An affidavit adds: 'He stated that Burger King isn't a public place and that his genitals get itchy and he sometimes has to scratch them.'"

Here you will find a picture of a giant egg laid by a chicken in Iowa. Before you panic, please take note: "An egg approaching that size is unusual, but not unheard of, egg experts said." [Via]

As was previously the case in Boston, emergency medical services—this time in Fort Worth, Texas—have been forced to expand the size of their ambulances to better accommodate our more corpulent frames. This is not so much news, but note the matter-of-fact tone of the the report: "Everybody's tubbing up… and that's the way it is."