Here is Rep. Steven C. LaTourette (R-OH) doing a one minute stand-up routine for the cameras of C-SPAN. His material may not be top notch, but you've got to give him points on delivery. Also, he is not entirely wrong.

I wasn't really paying attention to the U.S. CIO, Vivek Kundra, who handles, um, I dunno, the IRS blogs and stuff? Oh wait... he is the one building the government a website that costs $18 million. Is it made of Internet platinum, and does it shoot rainbows? And so now folks are wondering who he is and does he know what he's talking about at all. READ MORE

As part of our ongoing mission to document the avian war on humanity, we bring you this story about two British joggers attacked by vicious buzzards in separate incidents. An "expert" claims that the birds "did not want to eat any of their victims," but HOW DOES HE KNOW FOR SURE? Be careful out there, everybody. READ MORE

Meanwhile, up in Albany: State Supreme Justice Thomas McNarama told state senators to resolve the recent craziness by 1 P.M., or he would do it for them, warning that "I have no problem providing an answer to this question from a judicial standpoint. As a matter of public policy, you guys should work this out." Sen. Hiram Monserrate, one of two Democrats who helped trigger the Senate coup, announced that he would return to the party's caucus, although Pedro Espada, Jr.-a.k.a. "the other one"-claims that Monserrate still supports Espada's disputed leadership role. Governor Paterson "will convene an unprecedented meeting of all the chamber's purported leaders" at 3 if they blow the deadline. And the New York Observer offers up what might be the least traffic-baity photogallery in Internet history. Stay tuned! READ MORE

Good news! There are actually some new magazine launches!