Posts Tagged: adam levine
2

You Won't Believe The Shit That Happened This Week That You Already Don't Remember

Everyone was so riled up about culture this week that I had to drink a whole bottle of ACME Acid every morning just to cope with my pointless existence. What kind of bullshit did we jerk our jaws off for? Come, let me chew your food with my metal teeth and my dashing enzymes!

Selfies

Call me the Lizard Lord of Dooftopia and spank me silly with the atrocities of change! Shower me in selfies of varying qualities, poor lighting, and Vampiric Vanity! Listen, butterfly thinkers, the telegram didn’t cut us down and the telephone made us say I Love You more. Let visual communication of Self spread even [...]

11

Car Commercial Perplexing, Disturbing

A lonely rich woman checks Facebook on her iPad. She sees that Maroon 5 singer Adam Levine is having a Christmas party. This very night! She apparently doesn't know Adam Levine. At least, not well enough to be friends with him (yet!) on Facebook. But she gets a devilish idea, and imagines herself crashing the party and cackling maniacally.