Posts Tagged: 2012
3

Reliable New Polling Shows 48% of Americans Favor the Tea Party

It might seem like the self-destructive mob known as the Tea Party was a brief living nightmare from 2010 that was handily smacked back into its grave by Barack Obama's epic 2012 re-election win, which also saw Democrats again winning the Senate with a two-seat gain and the House GOP majority losing eight seats. Democrats actually won 1.4 million votes more than Republicans in the House, the first time since 1996 that the GOP held the House while losing the vote count.

But this is the kind of talk that has long distanced liberal media elitists from the Tea Party faithful. While the straggling and embarrassing remains of the Tea [...]

4

The 10 Cleverest Internet Films of 2012

For the last two years, I dedicated this list to videos that stirred the heart. This year's list is made up of those films that give the mind a little twist, providing that tiny moment of escape that comes from seeing things a bit differently than usual. These are the ten cleverest Internet films to cross my various social media dashboards over the past year. They're presented here in no particular order, although the first one is a particular favorite.

• Jake Dolgy & Jake Ross might be the first directors in history to accurately portray people using the Internet in a fictional film. In "Online Now" [...]

11

Why Is Wussy Obama Crying All the Time?

Barack Obama smashed Mitt Romney like a plaster lawn gnome, but instead of taking a victory lap in a fighter jet, our re-elected and wildly popular president is crying all the time. Conservatives who care very much about the future of our country are asking, very seriously, "Why is Barack Obama such a wuss?"

Just look at your president, getting all teary-eyed for the second time in as many days. Maybe he will become a liberal in his second term, after all!

0

Tucker Carlson Calls Bob Mendenez a "Latin Lover"

Did you stare at your computer until midnight waiting for Tucker Carlson's blog exclusive about an elections sex scandal? Of course not—it was Halloween, and there's still this power outage thing for millions of people, and who cares. But many conservative pundits on Twitter did stay up past their bediimes to see what the Daily Caller website would post, even though some other wingnuts on the Internet had already claimed the scandal was something about Senator Bob Menendez. The hot news finally went live, hours after the promised midnight posting: The Daily Caller claims that a lawyer in the Dominican Republic got two legal prostitutes to look [...]

11

A Review of "Binders Full of Women" Instant Websites

Americans watch presidential debates to serve many different goals. Older people need shameless pandering, because they are lonely. Corporate ladder-climbers need "water cooler talk." And the nation's much-maligned "undecided voters" want to put a face to a name, so they can vote for the white person.

For a certain small but social-media-savvy demographic of needy political fanatics, debates are an opportunity to quickly identify memes and catch phrases and then recycle these memorable bits into short-lived Internet destinations. Time is of the essence, because this stuff is utterly forgotten within 48 hours—by the time Saturday Night Live gets to it on the weekend, it's all over.

If you didn't [...]

2

Joe Biden's Laughter: Is This Even Legal?

America's vice president delivered many robust bursts of laughter last night, laughter that seemed (to us) to mean the usual "Oh come on, Paul Ryan, you are a ridiculous liar."

But there are varying opinions! Those on the right, for example, would never vote for Obama-Biden–and they are none too pleased with this Joe Biden and his laughter. Why, they have even less intention of voting for him now, if that's possible.

The important question is whether anyone is trying to "spin" this on Twitter.

4

Oh Yes, We Are Liveblogging Biden Vs. Ryan

Do you love to watch weird men in suits argue on the teevee, and while this is going on do you also like to look at computers and smartphones and "tweets," to further the goals of American democracy? Then join your co-hosts "Choire and Layne" tonight at 9 p.m. Eastern and 6 p.m. Pacific for a very special revolutionary form of liveblogging that will be unlike anything you've ever seen or done, ever. Also we are on this Twitter!

5

Fox News Replaces Idiot With Another Idiot

When Fox News got rid of Sarah Palin by offering her a very tiny contract renewal, people who follow these things said, "Oh, Fox News has been forced to scale back the crazy a little bit, because the old white lunatics are quickly dying off and America's population now consists solely of multi-ethnic transgender metrosexuals." But these people were wrong, because Fox News just hired Herman Cain as a paid on-air personality.

Herman Cain was the 2012 GOP presidential frontrunner at some point—everybody was a GOP frontrunner at some point, except for Sarah Palin. Imagine being such a washed-up dingbat that you couldn't even compete with the likes [...]

1

Last-Minute Chances For World To End On 12/21/12

  • "The first major snowstorm of the season began its slow eastward march across the Midwest early Thursday, leaving at least three people dead, creating treacherous driving conditions and threatening to disrupt some of the nation's busiest airports ahead of the holiday weekend."
  • "Tornado warnings remained in effect in parts of Mississippi, Louisiana and Alabama early Thursday."
  • "Schools across the country, already on edge following last week's massacre of 20 students and six adults at a Newtown, Conn., elementary school have been further unnerved following a series of copycat threats, sometimes yielding arrests and caches of deadly weapons."
  • "The number of Americans filing first-time claims for [...]
4

Cat Power Cancels Tour

We were worried about Chan Marshall but apparently for the wrong medical reasons.

21

What Should We Do About These Foreign Places? Liveblogging the Final Romney-Obama Debate

That chill in the air tonight is not just a real alive Halloween monster crawling up your leg. It's actually Josh Romney, helping the Halloween monster, because there is a chance you are a liberal who "offended Dad" by thinking maybe Barack Obama sort of won the second debate? Whatever happens tonight, during this third and final human-hybrid death wrangle, consider this live blog a "safe house" that Chris Matthews can never enter, because of the voodoo amulets we've hung from all the windows and doors. And yet we enjoy the online video from MSNBC, because it works so well … and Brian Williams is being super [...]

7

Lack Of GOP Primary Rubber Masks Ruins Bad Group Costume Idea

We had a great idea for a "group costume" you could do with some friends from work or the therapy group or whatever, but a quick yet exhaustive search on eBay shows there are no Halloween masks for Michele Bachmann, Rick Santorum, Ron Paul, Rick Perry, Herman Cain or the rest of them (the "other Mormon," Buddy somebody?). Other than the actual candidate, Mitt Romney, the only GOP Primary figure available in weird rubber mask format is Newt Gingrich. And his mask dates back to when he was Speaker of the House, in the 1990s, and people otherwise uninterested in politics were briefly fascinated by the [...]

5

Empty Chairs And Old Glory: Election Season In The Desert

It's all but forgotten now, but six weeks ago the biggest news on Earth was that geriatric movie actor Clint Eastwood brought an empty chair to accompany his improv at the Republican National Convention. Millions of people laughed and said, "What even was that?" And then they went back to their lives: thinking about tomorrow's lunch, ordering the new iPhone, forgetting to give the dog its heartworm medicine, etc.

But there are parts of the country where bizarre right-wing political-media stunts outlive the churn of the news cycle by weeks, sometimes even months. These parts of the country are called "rural and exurban areas." And they are everywhere, basically [...]

20

Is Barack Obama Still America's Cool Uncle?

In less than a month, thank god, Election Day will be here and then gone. There are more debates, and more October Surprises, and many more tens of millions of dollars to be spent on horrifying television commercials, and then we can finally go back to "fantasy football" or whatever people do with their time.

Despite being too conservative and too much of a warmonger for many liberals' taste, Barack Obama will most likely win a second term because who else are we going to vote for, that nice lady who shares our views exactly, on that Facebook poll? As far as presidents go, with their whole Commander [...]

10

How Lives Begin

It's 1976.

I grew up in the East Village, in New York City, surrounded by art. I was young, maybe 4, when I learned where babies came from. Upon leaving the Finnish fundamentalist faith of my youth, I made my parents a promise that I would still attend church on Christmas and Easter.

Previously: How Lives End

One of my earliest memories that doesn't have to do with my tonsillectomy or the arrival of my baby brother—and I am not equating the two—is of seeing President Kennedy ride along East 161st Street in the Bronx in the back of an open [...]

7

UFOs Caught On Video Over Brooklyn and San Francisco

Finally, one of the millions of video-equipped smart phones in Brooklyn have caught an unidentified flying object hovering over some of the world's priciest real estate. Why do the alien monsters want to live where everyone else wants to live?

It is not a coincidence that similar formations of eerie lights are also being seen (and video recorded) over the Mission District in San Francisco. And there's video of that, too.

4

Obamacane: Is NBC's Sandy Benefit Really an Obama Commercial?

In just a few hours, most every functioning television screen on the Eastern Seaboard will be showing NBC's new mid-season replacement reality series, Hurricane Sandy: Coming Together. And we aren't the only ones who smell an entire river of dead rats. Fox News, for example, has an interesting take that is mostly "interesting" for its picture of Kanye at the top of the story. (Kanye West isn't scheduled to do the benefit tonight, but he did say something about George W. Bush at another hurricane benefit, seven years ago. And Kanye is also black … much like Obama.)

5

"Cleveland, What's Your Question For One of These Next Presidents?"

Legendary maniac Larry King will emcee the third presidential debate. Think about this. Our grand 2012 debate season began with a confused shark-eyed zombie, moved up to a cool and serious lady for the Biden-Ryan thing, and then got all ethical and fact-checky with Candy Crowley. The only possible "big finish" is to bring in a hundred-year-old Vaudeville/CNN star from the Golden Age of Radio for the final debate. Will David Lynch direct? It will be the most historical moment in Larry King's career since he found something weird in his slipper this morning and also thought he heard the great Walter Matthau speaking through a poinsettia in [...]

1

Unexpected Outcomes For Tuesday's Obama-Romney Debate

Never before in American History has so much hinged on a single debate. Tomorrow, the citizens who are not watching "game three" of televised baseball will be spellbound for 90 minutes as the wounded, bleeding president and the strong, perfect challenger take pre-selected questions from a group of pre-selected voters of statistically varied age, color and gender. Literally every minute of this brutal slugfest will be a "game changer," and the potential outcomes could alter not only the small point spread between the candidates' Wednesday polling, but also the very future of humankind.

The possibilities include "one or the other candidate being perceived as the winner" to … well, [...]

13

Liveblogging Joe Biden And Paul Ryan Debating Without Sound

Tonight! Two men enter, one man leaves as Vice President. (That would be Joe Biden. Who is the Vice President.) But now a new man wants to be a Vice President next time!

Here they settle that grudge when, at 9 p.m., Old Amtrak Joe and Paul Iron Ryan take the stage at Centre College in delightful Danville, Kentucky, for the Debate of the Vice Presidents Who Would Be Vice President. Did you know that Centre College has the highest graduation rate of any college in Kentucky, at 81%!?

Please join us in your living rooms and cafes and offices at 9 p.m. when the festivities begin. But [...]