What a World
4

Who Makes The Nazi Dinners?

"All of the German [re-enactment] groups in Minnesota have a Christmas party because we don't typically have events going on in the winter. It's just like any club that has a party. Because they dress up like Germans from World War II, it's cool to go to a German restaurant, eat German food, and drink German beer." —Most of the time I feel like the quote is enough but in this case I am pretty insistent that you should click through.

0

Hope Floats

"A sturgeon which escaped from an aquatic centre during the floods which swept Britain has been found in a puddle a mile away, as experts hope another missing Koi Carp could still be found."

4

Government Agency: "Your Porn Is Not Boring Enough"

"For failing to broadcast sufficient levels of Canadian-made pornography — and failing to close-caption said pornography properly — a trio of Toronto-based erotica channels has earned a reprimand from the Canadian Radio-television & Telecommunications Commission." [Via]

3

Grief-Stricken Polar Bear Occasionally Distracted From The Crushing Burden Of Existence By Frozen Fish Treat

My disposition is not by nature one that tends toward cheerfulness. In any given situation the first thing I am most likely to experience is an overwhelming cascade of sadness, of melancholy, of lost hope and lives lived without joy. Often these impressions are faulty or unreliable, but it is the way in which I am wired, apparently; I cannot help but be overcome by an immobilizing sense of sorrow in every environment I encounter, and even an awareness that things are almost certainly not as bad as I am understanding them to be only makes the situation worse, because how terrible am I if where others are leading [...]

0

Embrace Your Inner Surf Pig

"Surfing is Hawaii's gift to the world, it's like true happiness, and that's what this guy does: Everywhere he goes he makes people smile and laugh. He just brings joy to the world." —Think about the last time someone said that about you. (If you are a woman, change the hes to shes, obviously.) When was it? Probably never, right? Maybe you should take a minute to reassess everything that's happening in your life right now. That stress you feel, the sadness you carry around with you, the gnawing sense of anxiety that never lets you quite settle in anywhere no matter how happy you try to trick yourself [...]

2

Russian Fools Climb Tall Tower

Here you will find a video of two Russians breaking into the Shanghai Tower, which when completed will be over 2,000 feet tall (the Empire State Building is 1,250 feet tall, for comparison), and climbing it all the way to the top of the scaffolding. The first two minutes are just the pair climbing stairs, and, like, the stairs don't have handrails but it's not all that dangerous otherwise so you can just skip to 1:55 or so to see them climb above the smog and mist of Shanghai and crawl up the scaffolding, which seems VERY dangerous and scary.

0

Internet Hurting The Feelings, Waistbands Of The Chinese People

"An online survey has projected that almost 39.8% of male internet users in China and 38.7% of female users are obese. Almost half of the remaining internet users surveyed have persistently gained weight over the past five years, reports the Communist Party mouthpiece People's Daily…. The weight Chinese put on over the past decade is almost equivalent to the weight westerners gained over the past 30 years, said experts."

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Meet America's Most Fortunate Dumpster Occupants

"Today is their lucky day. They should probably not buy a lottery ticket today, they've used it all up," says a spokesman for the Spokane fire department of a man and woman who were emptied into the back of a trash truck from the dumpster they were in at the time and fortuitously avoided being crushed by the truck's compactor until they were serendipitously discovered by the truck's driver, who heard a strange noise and went to investigate. The couple also has a dog, whose lucky day I suppose it is as well.

2

Ball Floaty

Is this "the creepiest thing you'll see all day"? Uh, I hope so? You probably don't need any more creepiness in your life today. Or this week, really? Can you believe we are still in the same week that started with the Oscars? A week with Mardi Gras and Ash Wednesday? The Bitcoin dude was only yesterday. Sweet Mother of God will it ever end? Anyway, enjoy.

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Ladies Can Pretend To Be Outraged Too

You had to figure that when gender equality finally started to play itself out in the field of politics this is what it was gonna look like.

1

Kate Moss Delivers David Bowie's Plea For British Unity At Music Award Ceremony

"David Bowie used his platform as the winner of the best British male solo artist on Wednesday night to make an unexpected intervention in the the debate over Scottish independence. In a statement delivered by the model Kate Moss, who accepted the prize for him, Bowie said, 'Scotland, stay with us,'" is a thing that happened here in your world.

3

Tavern Assy

Is this the world's weirdest hotel, asks the Telegraph? Normally in these cases the procedure is for me to answer with a simple, "Sure, why the hell not," but I believe today it is time for you to come to your own conclusions. Do bear in mind that the hotel, "designed to resemble a giant human colon… starts with a foot at one end and finishes with a replica of [...]

1

What Sound Does The Weirdass Frog Make?

The pignose frog, also known as the Indian purple frog, is one of the weirdest-looking frogs on the planet. It looks like a frog supervillain. It looks like a New York financial industry fatcat grown soft on the blood of the poor—but only on the outside, as its eyes and mind remain hard and cold and shrewd. It looks like Danny DeVito could play it in a movie without unduly taxing the makeup artist. It looks like what you would imagine Karl Rove would look like if your only knowledge of Karl Rove came from the descriptions of others. And it's purple. What kind of animal is purple? Not [...]

1

Smell You Later, In Line, At The Airport

"'There are recognizable patterns of each person’s body odor that remain steady….Therefore, every person has his/hers own odor and this would allow his/her identification within a group of people at an accurate rate higher than 85%. This result leads the way to improve personal identification that is less aggressive than other biometric techniques being used today.' The system could eventually be installed in airport to 'sniff' passenger as they pass through."

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Beer-Drinking Bear Chaser Comes Clean

"After telling wildlife officers and reporters in late February that he brawled with a Florida Black Bear that slammed him to the ground by his pants, [36-year-old Lake County resident Joshua Hennessy] then wrote a sworn statement that was much less dramatic…. 'I was sitting in my chair outside … drinking a beer and I saw a bear run by the house and for no good reason at all, I jumped up and started chasing it … and tripped over a speed bump and fell.' That's what Hennessy wrote in a statement to the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission. He will not face charges, authorities said, [...]

0

Accent Misunderstood

"A murder suspect has been cleared after experts found that a supposed confession she made in a 999 call was mis-heard because of her strong regional accent."

5

Brooklyn Keeps Coming Up With Even More Comical Ways For You To Spend Your Money

"A trio of 'style-conscious germaphobes' have designed a scarf made from special germ-filtering cloth, in a high-tech bid to keep nasty bugs at bay — particularly on the subway. The Scough — a mashup of the words 'scarf' and 'cough' — was the brainchild of Alexa Nigro, Ari Klaristenfeld and Andrew Kessler, who couldn't stand another winter riding the subway next to people who don't cover their mouths when they cough. The scarf that retails for $39 to $59 on the company's website and on Etsy, can be drawn around the face to act as a fashionable mask, its creators said."

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Pie Divisive

"Arguments at weddings can be caused by a variety of reasons: From drunken uncles making a scene and distant cousins unhappy at being on a table by the door, to best man speeches that reveal a little bit too much about the stag do and almost anything to do with the bride’s sister. But now a new source of conflict can be added to the list – a pork pie. Police tweeted that they were on their way to a couple’s wedding celebrations to break up a brawl thought to have been started after an argument about the humble meat pie. Officers from the dog section at West Yorkshire Police [...]

2

Cat Large

This here is Pickles, whom noted animal blog the Daily Mail says is three feet long and weights 21 pounds. "Everyone's obviously first reaction is like wow that cat is huge," said Pickles' new owner. You can find many more pictures of this large cat over here.

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Runways Confusing

"You've got these runway lights, and you are looking at them, and they're saying: 'Come to me, come to me. I will let you land.' They're like the sirens of the ocean." —I was talking to a friend the other night and I brought up my embarrassing but shockingly firm superstitious belief that we are all born with so many airline flights to our name and when we reach our appointed number that is when our plane goes down. It's an absurd theory on its face—the idea that not only is there some higher agency which controls our fate but that it also keeps a ledger of our travel arrangements—but [...]