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— Heritage Foundation (@Heritage) April 29, 2013
Ladies, finally there is an advocacy thinktank that thinks like you, believes like you, hates gay marriage and abortion like you—and pins hot guys on the Internet like you! Hubba hubba, etc.
"A song to mark the inauguration of the new king of the Netherlands has been withdrawn after it attracted a storm of criticism for its 'imbecilic' lyrics." (One of those lyrics is "I build a dyke with my bare hands and keep the water away," so you can sort of see the point.) Be warned, this link autoplays. Also, the song is execrable.
"The man filmed punching a police horse during a football riot claimed yesterday he was acting in self-defence."
"The reason that we are not launching our prototype at this stage is that the Chinese will steal the idea and produce it in millions overnight." —Guess what 'it' is! I mean, give it a shot, but in the end you may as well just click through, because you're never going to get it.
Do you think when vandals paint giant penises on things they start off by thinking, "This is going to be the best giant penis anyone has yet painted," or is it more about getting the job done—"Another day, another giant penis to paint"—and moving on? Either way, you have to appreciate commitment to the form.
"Badgers are digging up the cemetery where the poet and author Dylan Thomas is buried, causing damage to graves."
"This transgenic lamb, bred at the Animal Reproduction Institute Uruguay (IRAUy), has an incorporated gene that makes it glow under ultraviolet light, according to scientists there."
I know they are trying to make James Bond more contemporary and all, but I think this is going a little too far.
"A Brazilian man claims he 'cried ink for two days' after getting his eyeballs tattooed to make them darker. Tattoo artist Rodrigo Fernando dos Santos, 39, of Sao Paulo, decided to go ahead with the bizarre procedure after having already had 70 per cent of his body covered in ink.The work involved a special syringe being used to inject the ink into the whites of his eyes." —There are photos and video, but only you can decide if that's the way you want the rest of your day to take shape.
"Millions watch 'How Animals Eat' video" is the headline, but it could have just as easily been, "This Is How The Species Spent Its Few Final Years Of Existence, Before The Fires." Maybe that will be the chapter heading in the alien history book though.
"About 200,000 restaurants, taverns and cafés in the Mexican capital removed saltshakers from their tables – permanently – on April 4."
I don't think I could do any better than "Man gets shock of his life when he buys two toy poodles for $150 only to be told by a vet that they are actually GIANT RODENTS pumped up with steroids to look like dogs," and, in fact, I'd be a fool to try. Between this and spring I am almost smiling today.
A lamb with an extra leg was born on Easter Sunday at a farm in Northumberland, England. Named, "Quinto," the lamb has a fifth leg sticking out of the middle of its chest, between its normal front two legs. For some strange reason, it has taken a full five (5) days for video to reach YouTube, but it is finally here. She's cute! And thriving! The extra leg does not hinder her walking and she has become a tourist attraction. (Though it remains unclear whether or not she was featured in any of the "beastie shows" or bottle-feeding exhibitions the farm offered as part of its "Easter Eggstravaganza.") [...]
I don't know how your day is going, but for me it kind of feels like this video is probably the most uplifting thing I'm gonna see until I finally drug myself into the evening's stupor. I'd hate to think I'm the only one, so I share this in the hopes that it will similarly brighten (that being a relative term) someone else's afternoon. On the plus side, it's a reminder that the one day a year when it's possible to get mint juleps at almost any local bar approaches, so try to hold on for that. I guess.
"A Swedish homeware company has produced a luxury bird house, complete with swimming pool and garden furniture."
"A pheasant with a temper problem is stalking the lanes of a Shropshire village, forcing local resident Sally-Ann Hudson to arm herself with gloves and a badminton racquet when she approaches the bird." There is video, but this might be one of those cases where it's just better to imagine.
Every day, humans kill millions of animals. We kill them in the hideous industrial slaughterhouses, we kill them with our F-350s barreling down the county road, we kill them with gigantic fish-harvesting scrapers dragged along the ocean floor, we kill them at the "Humane Society," and we kill them when they've made the critical mistake of surfacing near our ugly houses. But it is only News when an "unlikely" animal finally has enough of this constant holocaust and decides to "kill back" a human.
Today's example comes from Belarus, a place we rarely hear about despite its romantic name meaning "White Russia." It was here, reportedly, that a large beaver [...]
"A new genus of bat, with distinctive badger-like black and white markings, has been identified in South Sudan, U.S. researchers say." Oh sure, there are photos.
