"A cleaning robot 'committed suicide' by climbing on to a kitchen hotplate where it was burned to death. According to local reports, the Irobot Roomba 760 robot is thought to have rebelled against its chores and decided enough was enough. Firemen were called to the blaze at Hinterstoder in Kirchdorf, Austria, and say they found the remains of the machine on the hotplate."
Is the future going to be watching a commercial before you watch a commercial? Depending on what the pre-roll you get here is, probably, yeah. Anyway, "Get ready to sob… it's the John Lewis Christmas advert: Tear-jerking commercial tells story of hare making sure his bear best friend doesn't miss out on the big day," is pretty much the story. I mean, whatever, I have enough that makes me cry already, weepy touts for English department stores don't make the list but, you know, bears and Britain, plus it's Friday? It would be insane if we didn't post this. That's Lily [...]
The fish in this photo is indeed unattractive, but you are not exactly George Clooney yourself, are you now?
How is it only Tuesday? It feels like it should be, like, Thursday of NEXT WEEK already. It's probably the clocks, right? I could use a nap right now, and I am as far away from being a baby panda as it is possible to be. Man, I do not see how we're getting to Friday at this rate.
The funniest thing about this is that it's the top story, but there is still plenty of humor to be found throughout. [Via]
If You Need To Get "Squirrel Testicles," "Facebook" And "French Bank" Into The Same Sentence It Is Your Lucky Day
"A French bank has been slammed after posting an image on Facebook of a squirrel with its testicles trapped in a bird feed stand." Sigh, yeah, there's a photo, but I mean, really?
"A number of large crabs escaped from a box on a German train and not all have been found, police said on Tuesday."
Here is the story of an oversize fungus from China. "The giant puffball fungus was found on a mountainside near the Chinese city of Chonngqing," [...]
Remember when I was all "It feels like it should be, like, Thursday of NEXT WEEK already. Man, I do not see how we're getting to Friday at this rate"? You are probably saying, yes, Alex, I remember, it was like ten minutes ago, but NO, YOU COULD NOT BE MORE WRONG, because it was two actual days back and here we are, not at Friday, with a whole hunk of day to get through before we can even consider the possibility that a Friday might yet occur. I have a theory that we are all, still, over a [...]
"I've traveled everywhere, pretty much all over Europe. I always gravitate to Disney World. It's the place where I'm most comfortable," says a guy who owns a $3.4 million house in Golden Oak, "the only place in the world where you can own a home within Disney-resort boundaries." His favorite character is Goofy, for what it's worth.
"Six racing pigeons in Belgium were found to have been doped with drugs such as cocaine and painkillers, newspapers in the country say."
I am not going to pretend that many of you have either the time or the inclination to watch a five-and-a-half minute news story about the forces arrayed for and against a badger cull in Britain, but for those of you who do you are in for a fascinating five-plus minutes. There is something about the variety of human passion on display here that will make you look at our species with a mixture of pity and admiration. For the rest of you, here is a story about an alligator who kept triggering the automatic doors outside an Orlando Wal-Mart. Watch what you want, I won't judge.
"Feces in the sandbox, barking all night, the fear of being bitten: There are many reasons not to like dogs. Now one journalist from Hamburg is trying to raise money to launch a magazine to finally give dog haters a voice."
I enjoy the way they just sort of drop in the story about the guy who died in Room 1111 towards the end of the piece. Like, "I dunno, it's still pretty thin, anyone die here? Oh, great!" Anyway, I'm scared, hold me, etc.
"Casey Wagner was taking part in a Rednecks with Paychecks off-road driving event in Saint Jo, Texas, when a storm hit," is the least bizarre part of this article.
"Owners are dressing their domestic flocks in new fluorescent bibs, which have been specially designed to keep the creatures seen in the autumn evenings. The bibs are meant for the growing numbers of people who keep chickens as pets, especially in urban and suburban areas, to protect the birds from motorists. The bibs, costing £12 and available in pink or yellow, went on sale earlier this month." —[...]