USA! USA!
3

Did People Outside the U.S. Care About Our Election?

While everything stopped here in America to watch the alleged nail-biter, or what the TV told us would be a nail-biter, how did the rest of the world react?

• "Today’s table topics: Egypt’s constitution-to-be, a proposed restaurant and shop curfew, the need for interior ministry reform. The U.S. presidential election? Not on the menu. 'We’ve got more than enough to worry about with Morsi,' the 42-year-old Somaya says, roughly chopping a bundle of molokheya, bitter greens common in the Egyptian kitchen. 'I didn’t even know about the U.S. election, and I don’t care. Whoever wins won't make a difference to us.'"

• "I confess to [...]

14

Our Healthcare Delivery System Is Just Fine Thank You

Ok. I just got a bill of $197,000.00 for my neck surgery. This is a typo, right? RIGHT?

— Susan Orlean (@susanorlean) August 13, 2012

And how was your weekend in healthcare?

6

Black Man Angry

If all white men were like the ones on stage in SC GOP debates lastnight, you wouldn't speak to one white man in the USA!

— Andre Leon Talley (@OfficialALT) January 17, 2012

You know things are weird when André Leon Talley sounds like Bobby Seale. Anyway, I hope he doesn't tell Anna Wintour about this, she might visibly frown.

12

More on the NYPD "Brown People-Only" Terror Surveillance

Here we go! The NYPD's secret global terrorism investigation unit is becoming ever less secret, thanks to these reporters. Had a little halal food? Been to an Egyptian cafe? Been to any of the 14 Moroccan restaurants in town? Been pretty much ANYWHERE on Steinway St. in Queens? (Here's the list in handy doc form.) Then congrats, you've been surveilled by the NYPD. Either we're running an amazing intelligence operation or the NYPD is about to take over Time Out New York.

3

If We Have To Pay Off Gitmo Detainees, Can We Prosecute Ourselves For Funding Terrorism?

So let's see, we convicted for war crimes all of seven people who have gone through Guantanamo. Now they're all going to get off, thanks to a ruling by the U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals for the District of Columbia, on the grounds that none of the things they were doing were war crimes until after they did them. (Such as: being Osama bin Laden's gardener.) But at least we got Omar Ahmed Khadr, because he actually murdered someone! Oh, but but he's Canadian. So he's up for parole next year. He'll be just another friendly dude running a Tim Hortons a year from now.

Also haha, can't [...]

5

A More Hilarious Video of the San Diego Fireworks Insta-Celebration

This is what happens when you let the machines run everything. Coincidentally, this also dovetails nicely with my great, strange fear of dying by fireworks malfunctions. (via)

10

Barack Obama and Goldman Sachs' New Permanent Underclass

• Good news, America! We're finally building equal opportunity ghettos! Now that 1 in 15 Americans are considered the "poorest poor," we're making sure they live in underserved neighborhoods; "geographically concentrated poverty in the U.S. is now at the highest since 1990." But it's a rainbow of poverty! Red and yellow, black and white!

• And we're making sure they don't get to bust out. Because few of them can afford to have cars, they can't go to school, improve their lives or take their children to programs. A entrenched and segregated underclass!

• But it'll be a mobile underclass, that moves from poor area to [...]

3

Matthew Vadum Isn't Bad-Famous Enough Yet

Back in 2008, one brave lone American tried to make Matthew Vadum famous for his views. But do you know who Matthew Vadum is? Perhaps you do not! You are not even following his rude Twitter. Here's something Matthew Vadum wrote this week:

Why are left-wing activist groups so keen on registering the poor to vote?

Because they know the poor can be counted on to vote themselves more benefits by electing redistributionist politicians. Welfare recipients are particularly open to demagoguery and bribery.

Registering them to vote is like handing out burglary tools to criminals.

Good stuff! (via)

20

Someone Needs a Cliffs Notes on "Animal Farm"

"As George Orwell said in "Animal Farm," All animals are equal, but some animals are more equal than others. The progressive, socialistic and vast bureaucracy necessary to dole out these entitlements to those deemed worthy, and to police the regulations arising from the proliferation of laws and decrees, has bankrupted the country and the American dream. As you so wisely seem to understand, we must stop our current course and this rapid slide into a progressive, socialistic autocracy." —It's the El Paso Times letter of the day!

1

How Christian Terrorists Keep Wichita Abortion-Free

"A letter arrived from an antiabortion activist who befriended Scott Roeder, the man convicted of killing Dr. Tiller, after he went to prison. That letter, now in federal hands, warned Dr. Mila Means to check under her yellow Mini Cooper for explosives before turning the key." —Terrorism is why you still can't get an abortion in Wichita.

3

The FBI's Crazed Right-Wing Reading Library

It's the FBI's super-cute reading library on Islam: "There’s Militant Islam Reaches America by Daniel Pipes, who claims to have 'confirmed' that President Obama was once a practicing Muslim, and whose book asks, 'Why would terrorists oppress women if this did not have something to do with their Islamic outlook?' A book called Islamikaze: Manifestations of Islamic Martyrology ties 'normative Islam' to 'horrendous cruelty and inhumanity.'" We're in good hands!