Things People Say

Local Ballet Enthusiast Explains Patronage

"One reason is that the left-wing Democrats highly enjoy calling me an evil Koch brother, and the contributions I make in these many areas are tremendously worthy. It sends a message to the political groups in this country that don't like the conservative Republican businessman."


Gauntlet Thrown Directly into Toilet

"'This is one of those wonderful high-water marks in The Atlantic’s 157 year history,' Atlantic Media chairman David Bradley said in a press release. 'Our founders (Emerson, Holmes, Longfellow …) would welcome Fareed [Zakaria] enthusiastically—and then worry about raising their own game.'"


Angry Man Likes Sharing Music

"The single best thing that has happened in my lifetime in music, after punk rock, is being able to share music, globally for free. That’s such an incredible development."


Man Exposes Himself

"In the olden days, nobody even locked their front doors, not in the neighborhood I grew up in. And the choice is either live behind the locked door or don’t. And for me freedom is choosing not to live behind the locked door." —This from a man who posted his usernames and passwords into the Washington Post comment section, asking readers to break into his accounts and do as they please. Nobody bothered to do much at all, which is terrifying in its own right.


It Will Be What It Will Be

"As much as you strategize or you think that you're going to define yourself, ultimately you get defined, whether it's by the press or by the… public. And a lot of your calculation is meaningless. You become what you become."


Intoxication Doubted

“The last time I saw that kind of energy was Keith Haring or Jean-Michel. It was so intense. I don’t even think he was on drugs.”


There Is No Place For Revenge In Pantomime Fucking: Expert

"When you have a personal vendetta in this sport, it can sabotage your performance. This is a sport for grown-ups."


Post-Text is the Most Text

Felix Salmon, April, on his surprising new job: But the core of what I do at Fusion will be post-text. Text has had an amazing run, online, not least because it’s easy and cheap to produce. When it comes to digital storytelling, however, the possibilities — at least if you have the kind of resources that Fusion has — are much, much greater.

People batted around that "post-text" line for a while, made their jokes, and forgot. Now, today: My first #post-text project for Fusion: Bad Paper, a game which should help people understand the world of debt collections in a fun, immersive way.

Bad Paper is a choose-your-own-adventure-style game, turning what [...]


"Freaky" Employed

"Brooklyn is our home and we're already hard at work developing a freaky, space-age utopia that will give today's creative visionaries a place to produce astonishing stories and leave their indelible thumbprint on the annals of history," says a spokesperson for Vice.


Testicle Double Entendre Just Insouciant Enough To Avoid Designation Of Vulgarity

"'The whole idea of a signboard is to get people to stop, without being overtly crass,' said Brian Peck, manager of the Meatball Shop in Williamsburg, Brooklyn, whose own sign read 'Spring For Our Balls' on Wednesday."


Spider-Man Is A Lot Like Another Jewish Superhero

“Jesus is an awesome guy. When Pontius Pilate said: ‘They say you’re the son of God. If you’re the son of God tell me.’ Jesus was like: ‘I know who I am, bitch.’


Haircut Hipstery

"If most people got that cut they would just look like a hipster.


Will America's Tackiest Street Quiet Down?

"The problem with Bourbon is you have a bunch of these new clubs and they’re not the essence of the city. They got jam bands and they’re just blasting music. At least in the ’80s you still had classy joints."


The Future IS Now

"I think everybody knew how prescient the film was even then. It really kind of predicted, to some extent, in a much more intelligent and sophisticated way, where we were heading culturally, and how much people would do to garner fame. Even Rupert Pupkin, in his own demented way, at least had some sort of craft. He had written material and wanted to be a stand-up, even though he really wasn’t that funny. As opposed to now, where people will, as themselves, get to have shows by just being whoever they are: basically obnoxious drunks, whores, and miscreants." [...]


Infection Successfully Quarantined

The bold actions we are announcing today are significant next steps in our ongoing initiatives to increase shareholder value by building scale, increasing cash flow, sharpening management focus, and strengthening all of our businesses to compete effectively in today's increasingly digital landscape.

Delivering a quote for a press release, or for a corporate announcement, represents a difficult problem for media executives. Here, Gannett CEO Gracia Martore gives a statement to Gannett's own USA Today about a plan to split the company into two parts, isolating its broadcasting and digital investments from its not-at-all-doomed newspapers, creating, she says, "two companies that will be among the largest and strongest in [...]


War Is Synergy

"'Airstrikes will have only one good effect: to bolster morale of the Iraqi Army,' said the retired American general, who spoke on the condition of anonymity so as not to jeopardize business relations in the Middle East." (via)


Era Of Bathtub Nicotine Over

"You won't be able to mix nicotine in your bathtub and sell it anymore."


"Every year I need to know when the Super Bowl is."

"People always bring up that Huffington Post article. What I think is missed in that discussion is that that article is super useful. Every year I need to know when the Super Bowl is. I always forget. I often find that article. It tells me exactly what time the Super Bowl is."


Martin Amis Still Talking

On the one hand it's actually rather amazing that a writer whose last notable book came twenty years ago is still someone whose remarks a certain culture considers worth acting outraged over. On the other hand—actually, you know what? Let's not think too much about it.


Man Opinionated

Do you have one of those friends who, half the time they are talking you're all, "Wow, this person is completely right," and then the other half of the time you're like, "Wow, this person is fucking insane"? (A harder question to answer: Are you that friend to someone else?) Anyway, Bret Easton Ellis seems like he would be one of those people, the friend who you are always happy to hang out with but only in installments of every six months or so because otherwise it's just exhausting. Still, he thinks all the milllennials are wusses, [...]