Things People Say
0

Era Of Bathtub Nicotine Over

"You won't be able to mix nicotine in your bathtub and sell it anymore."

2

"Every year I need to know when the Super Bowl is."

"People always bring up that Huffington Post article. What I think is missed in that discussion is that that article is super useful. Every year I need to know when the Super Bowl is. I always forget. I often find that article. It tells me exactly what time the Super Bowl is."

5

Martin Amis Still Talking

On the one hand it's actually rather amazing that a writer whose last notable book came twenty years ago is still someone whose remarks a certain culture considers worth acting outraged over. On the other hand—actually, you know what? Let's not think too much about it.

1

Man Opinionated

Do you have one of those friends who, half the time they are talking you're all, "Wow, this person is completely right," and then the other half of the time you're like, "Wow, this person is fucking insane"? (A harder question to answer: Are you that friend to someone else?) Anyway, Bret Easton Ellis seems like he would be one of those people, the friend who you are always happy to hang out with but only in installments of every six months or so because otherwise it's just exhausting. Still, he thinks all the milllennials are wusses, [...]

4

Bullies Bullied By Women: Man

"[M]en today have learned the lesson the hard way that if you act like a kind of an old fashioned guy’s guy, you’re in constant danger of slipping out and saying something that’s going to get you in trouble and make you look like a sexist or make you look like you seem thuggish or whatever. That’s the atmosphere in which he operates. This guy is very much an old fashioned masculine, muscular guy, and there are political risks associated with that. Maybe it shouldn’t be, but that’s how it is."

2

Artists Manualless

"'There’s no manual for being an artist,' he added."

0

Movie Grudgingly Appreciated

I hope we're all around in 2030 to hear what Mario Cuomo thinks of Goodfellas.

0

Man Exposes Himself

"In the olden days, nobody even locked their front doors, not in the neighborhood I grew up in. And the choice is either live behind the locked door or don’t. And for me freedom is choosing not to live behind the locked door." —This from a man who posted his usernames and passwords into the Washington Post comment section, asking readers to break into his accounts and do as they please. Nobody bothered to do much at all, which is terrifying in its own right.

1

It Will Be What It Will Be

"As much as you strategize or you think that you're going to define yourself, ultimately you get defined, whether it's by the press or by the… public. And a lot of your calculation is meaningless. You become what you become."

0

Intoxication Doubted

“The last time I saw that kind of energy was Keith Haring or Jean-Michel. It was so intense. I don’t even think he was on drugs.”

1

There Is No Place For Revenge In Pantomime Fucking: Expert

"When you have a personal vendetta in this sport, it can sabotage your performance. This is a sport for grown-ups."

0

Being Good At Working With Jews Is Half The Battle

"I'm good at working with Jews, says Chinese tycoon Chen Guangbiao who wants to buy WSJ"

0

Life Boiled Down

"I think most of life can boil down to, 'I want someone to say "I love you"' or 'I want $500.'"

1

Adventure Excellent

"Working on Bill & Ted was certainly an excellent adventure." —Keanu Reeves

0

Spider-Man Is A Lot Like Another Jewish Superhero

“Jesus is an awesome guy. When Pontius Pilate said: ‘They say you’re the son of God. If you’re the son of God tell me.’ Jesus was like: ‘I know who I am, bitch.’

0

Haircut Hipstery

"If most people got that cut they would just look like a hipster.

0

Will America's Tackiest Street Quiet Down?

"The problem with Bourbon is you have a bunch of these new clubs and they’re not the essence of the city. They got jam bands and they’re just blasting music. At least in the ’80s you still had classy joints."

0

The Future IS Now

"I think everybody knew how prescient the film was even then. It really kind of predicted, to some extent, in a much more intelligent and sophisticated way, where we were heading culturally, and how much people would do to garner fame. Even Rupert Pupkin, in his own demented way, at least had some sort of craft. He had written material and wanted to be a stand-up, even though he really wasn’t that funny. As opposed to now, where people will, as themselves, get to have shows by just being whoever they are: basically obnoxious drunks, whores, and miscreants." [...]

1

Where The Snark Is

"There is no snarkier universe than the Broadway world."

4

The Time Of Our Time To Go

"'You know,' he said, 'when you get to my age you have to pee a lot. And there is no distance at all between knowing you want to pee and then just peeing. I was at Plimpton’s funeral in St John the Divine not long ago, and they sat me near the front, you know. Suddenly, I had to go. I knew I wasn’t gonna make it all the way down the aisle so I spotted a little side door and I got the canes and nipped in there. Halfway down the corridor, I was looking for a john and who do I see but Philip Roth. 'Hey, Philip, what [...]