Everyone was so riled up about culture this week that I had to drink a whole bottle of ACME Acid every morning just to cope with my pointless existence. What kind of bullshit did we jerk our jaws off for? Come, let me chew your food with my metal teeth and my dashing enzymes!
Call me the Lizard Lord of Dooftopia and spank me silly with the atrocities of change! Shower me in selfies of varying qualities, poor lighting, and Vampiric Vanity! Listen, butterfly thinkers, the telegram didn’t cut us down and the telephone made us say I Love You more. Let visual communication of Self spread even [...]
Funeral Selfies What a fine time to be alive! Quick rundown on ME: I’m a fun loving radical anarchist who stops for garage sales, goes all in for allspice, and enjoys a low-cal beer bong. I’ve got feet for hands and my hobbies include Godzilla, being ~cheeky~, and totally breaking down barriers, whether they be social, cultural, political, or literal barriers at concerts, sporting events, Thanksgiving Day parades et. al, because CAN'T TELL ME NOTHIN and also HARDER BETTER FASTER STRONGER. Whip the lambo when drunk but still got love for PETA. You see, we out here, and we are the change we want to see in the [...]
Sharon Curts’ Facebook status claiming she has “OCD: Obsessive Christmas Disorder” Sure it’s barely October and sure thirty thousand fake-friends of mine would designate this passing acquaintance as “basic” and fifteen north of Sac might even say “hella basic bruh” but in between the IDGAF and the “post as anonymous” and the blue-white silent screams of “this over that” I can’t help but mirth the fuck up and cinnamon my bristle to calm the cuss in my mouth and say Sharon if you love Christmas that much that you’re getting hard three months out then praise be to your heart and your love wherever it may fall and fall [...]
Some things happened this week. These are the ones we can remember: We praised the skills of director Tom Scharpling, spent some time in police custody, read Duff McKagan's autobiography, visited with heroic dogs, examined a contentious trademark fight and explained what a Cheryl Cole is. Somebody died. Oh, yeah, and we launched a new website. It was actually a pretty busy week, all told. AND NOW IT'S OVER. Thank the Lord.
Photo by Bogie Harmond, via Flickr
What a remarkable day it was today! All the beauty of autumn without any of its accompanying regrets, because as it's still "technically" summer you haven't had time to accrue fall's failures yet. But make no mistake, summer is over. And with the end of the season, it comes time for us to say farewell to our summer reporters. It seems like only yesterday that we first bid them hello. Time passes so quickly! Let us all applaud them for the excellent work they've done. Here are a couple of pieces you'll want to read again (or perhaps for the first time). Keep an eye out for [...]
We guess this is it. Goodbye forever! Here's some of what we're glad to be skipping.
• The 2012 presidential election
• Titanic 3D
• Having to stand outside a park to finish a cigarette
• Unavoidable and mostly identical essays on the meaning of Bob Dylan on the occasion of his 70th birthday
• Unavoidable and mostly identical essays on the meaning of Bob Dylan on the occasion of his demise (I mean, stay healthy, Bob, but it's gonna happen some day)
• The rap-rock revival