The Way We ____ Now
7

Man House-proud

You know what? Someday you're going to get old and talk about the stuff in your house with the same intensity you used to talk about art too. It's just part of life. Deal with it.

4

Man Outraged

"This is an outrage and should be outlawed. "

3

No More Reason To Go To Jersey

"The culture in Hoboken is driven by reality TV now. A lot of the bars downtown are fighting with each other for who has the most giant TVs. That's what Hoboken nightlife has become." So long, Maxwell's.

2

Maybe You're Not JUST Annoying

Is constantly Instagramming photos of the meal you're eating the sign of a larger psychological problem? Sure, why the hell not.

7

What's On Your Resume?

"When 21-year-old Stuart Goldberg went into a job interview last fall with a partner at the consulting firm McKinsey & Co., the University of Pennsylvania senior expected to discuss his 3.8 grade-point average, his internships in private equity or the data-crunching he'd done for the Philadelphia Eagles. Instead, the interviewer went straight for a different bullet point on Mr. Goldberg's résumé: his interest in the cable-television series 'Breaking Bad.' They spent 10 of the interview's 45 minutes discussing the dark drama about a high-school teacher who becomes a methamphetamine kingpin, Mr. Goldberg recalls. 'I was shocked that he wanted to allocate so much time to that.' The candidate was [...]

20

Is Your Social Media Editor Destroying Your News Organization Today?

FALSE REPORT>>> RT@thematthewkeys: Just in: Suspect 2 on the ground at gunpoint.

— Mike Hayes (@michaelhayes) April 19, 2013

…perhaps if I was in a real newsroom with access to my work email, instead of shut out a month ago, I wouldn't be working out of a bedroom

— Matthew Keys (@TheMatthewKeys) April 19, 2013

"The important thing, I think, is to—as soon as you know something that you sent out is incorrect, you correct the record. And it's OK, I think, to make mistakes in these circumstances. You—everyone will make mistakes, and it's kind of almost impossible to avoid them." —Slate's social [...]

4

The Internet's First 12-Step Program

Emily Witt's great piece today on the nofap movement-thing—all about the subreddit where men get together to talk about not masturbating!—points out that it's mostly all about men trying to get their "alpha" back. Or get it for the first time.

When you look at the subreddit, the themes come up again and again: "I relapsed less than a month away from my one year milestone." "Skeptic hooks up with chick he's been trying to bag for months. THANK YOU NOFAP!" "At Day 39, first 'Super Power.'" Magical self-realization!

And then the rest of their talk is couched in the language of 12-step recovery: relapse, shame, triggers, [...]

2

The Only Diet Tip You'll Ever Need

"Forget abandoning carbohydrates or detoxing. The new dieting craze sweeping Britain and taking off in the United States lets people eat whatever they like – but only five days a week." —People, please. I had plans to make a fortune on my one simple diet tip, but because I can't stand to see you all grasping at these ridiculous gimmicks—and because I can't figure how to pad it out to book length—I will share this amazing diet secret with the world: Before you are about to eat anything, ask yourself, "Am I going to enjoy this?" If the answer is [...]

6

A Reminder To Those Of Us In Denial About The Death Of Google Reader: It's Dying

"Obviously Google had to have a good reason to shut Reader down. The company has reams of data on how we use its products, and would not shutter a product that was providing sufficient food to its info-hungry maw. While some users remained devoted, the usage numbers just didn’t add up. The announcement shouldn’t have been too unexpected. Google hadn’t iterated on the service for years. It even went down for a few days in February. But there’s another reason Google decided to put its RSS reader to death. According to Mountain View, [...]

2

Stupid And/Or Corrupt Politics Coverage Mocked

This is amazing. I wish it was sponsored by the Kochs though.

21

A Year Without Internet

Highly educated Americans tell the world that young people are increasingly distracted or emotionally incompetent due to incessant pointer-clicking and unrelenting thumb-pressing. From the stuffed genre of airport-friendly socio-criticism, we’ve learned that networked technologies are making us lonely and small-minded. Apparently no one has ever sent Nicholas Carr, author of The Shallows: What The Internet Is Doing To Our Brains, or Sherry Turkle, of Alone Together: Why We Expect More From Technology And Less From Each Other, a tastefully brief Snapchat. In their best-selling sermons, "the Net" is the devil. Search engines, hyperlinks, and texts ensnare our intellect with the seductive fork tongue of reptilian temptation.

From these admired [...]

3

Two Millennia Of Our Species' Struggle To Express The Experience Of Existence Through Art Finally Finds Resolution In The Popularity Of A Cat That Can't Shut Its Mouth

"'No one cares about Bart Simpson anymore,' Ben Lashes, a 'meme manager' who helps Internet celebrities broker appearances and sell shirts and stickers, says in the documentary. 'This is it. This is popular culture.'"

6

Babies Peeing Everywhere

"With the warmer weather coming, Caribou Baby’s owner Adriane Stare — who held her bare-bottomed baby Loren atop a cloth diaper as she whispered 'sissss' to him to cue a pee during the discussion — told the group she’d soon open the center's backyard to let babies roam diaper-free outside."

4

Twitter Is Your New Resume

Uh oh: "I am fairly certain I am going to abandon the résumé process. The Web is your CV and social networks are your references."

3

BuzzFeeᴅ Phones Covered In GIFs Of Doody

If you ever hang out with someone who works for BuzzFeeᴅ, don't touch their phone.

0

What Do You Do When You're At A Small Dinner Party And Bono And The Edge Start Playing?

"When you're at a small dinner party and Bono and The Edge start playing 'Sunday Bloody Sunday' on an acoustic guitar, you whip out your phone as fast as you can. "

5

Are Hugs Ruining Your Life? You're Not Alone

"What about my female employees? They’re awesome! We all bond and hang out after work. But I’m their boss. Is it hug or shake when we run into each other at Whole Foods? The more I think about it, the more I spiral counter-clockwise down the toilet of anxiety. It all adds up to only a few seconds of awkwardness per day—and maybe I read into things more than others would—but I hate the thought that I may be inflicting awkwardness on the women in my work life by greeting them like a deer greets headlights." —Finally someone dares speak about the tyranny of affection under which we all [...]

2

Fact That People Actually Concentrate On Performance At Concert Remarked Upon

"Hundreds of fans lined up outside the El Rey Theatre across town earlier Saturday for a chance to attend the spontaneous show. Buyers were limited to one ticket, and they were required to pay with cash, show a government-issued ID, wear a wristband with their name on it and be photographed. Their names were verified at the venue, which has a capacity of about 700. Cameras and smartphones weren’t allowed inside the Echoplex, which usually plays host to hipster bands and mash-up dance parties. The lack of personal recording devices made the [band's] performance feel even more exclusive and old school, freeing concertgoers’ hands of the gizmos that have [...]

1

Good News For The Chicken-Curious

"Suitor’s operation is part of a mini-wave of chicken rentals, companies that soften the risk in chicken-rearing."

0

Greenmarkets As Full Of Loneliness And Despair As Anyplace Else In New York City: Editor

"Women get dressed up to go to the farmer’s market because they think the farmers are hot. The greenmarkets are like Desperate Housewives meets Northern Exposure."