Ah, Spring. Tulips pushing out of damp mulch, the first, furtive glimpses of bare shoulders, and, on the East Coast, cicadas crawling out of the ground to destroy your sanity. A time of fecundity, when your thoughts turn to your next sweaty makeout session. Or, in our climate-changed world, a time of wildly swinging temperatures, high winds, and freak snowstorms. Either way, crushes are an excellent distraction. Here are some wines to drink with said distractions — or while thinking of them. Because sometimes the thinking is the best part…
The Cute Barista – How do their hairstyles come to exist? Do really cool people all just cut one another’s [...]
SE: Should we start by acknowledging our reluctance, perhaps? Or maybe by confessing our embarrassments?
AHP: Yes, I think we can begin by situating her, more than perhaps any other, as a Lilith Fair performer who was so much of that time and moment that she’s completely, wholly out of fashion now. She’s not your mom’s well-loved cardigan that’s now just vintage and refined; she’s the embarrassing Gap overalls.
SE: Oh my god. She has all these albums I’ve never even heard of and don’t especially want to listen to, even for the purposes of our art. But she is nonetheless a crucial figure, because she was positioned as the [...]
The following are a sampling of the daily conversations I have with the group of 80-year-old men who smoke cigarettes and drink coffee every morning on the corner of my block. It took me two years and the acquisition of a dog to infiltrate their clique.
Tom: Do you have one of those phones that can take pictures? Me: Yes! Tom: Take our picture. (Gestures to himself and another Greek gentleman who only hangs out occasionally.) Me: Okay! (I take the photo.) Tom: Now, can you send that to my computer? Me: Sure. Tom: From your phone? Me: Yes. Do you know your e-mail address? Tom: I don’t know what [...]
HOW TO PLAY GOOD BOYFRIEND, BAD BOYFRIEND
Good Boyfriend/Bad Boyfriend is a fun new game I invented today that can provide you with hours of amusement — hours that would otherwise be spent doing dumb crud like work or socializing. There are two obvious facts you need to know in order to play:
1. In romantic comedies, the female protagonist often starts out with a BF who's a grade-A bozo and who eventually leaves him for a man who is hotter/cooler/purer of heart.
2. Some male actors have been in more than one movie over the course of their careers.
These facts lead us to the [...]
Part ONE: Radiohead
hurt feelings : listening pleasure = 2 : 10
I remember the precise moment I decided I would lose my virginity to someone I did not love. It was a warm early summer day when I walked the 10 minutes down sleepy suburban streets to my friend Jenny’s house, let myself in the front door, and tapped lightly on the closed door to her bedroom. The muffled cries I heard in the hallway resolved themselves on the other side of the door into Jenny, pajama-clad, fetal, sobbing on her plush carpeted floor.
Jenny’s house was not only a refuge from the tumult of [...]
Bette is a 32-year-old woman who lives in London and works in finance.
Jia: Hi Bette! How are you?
Bette: Hi! I’m good. I’ve been thinking about this interview all week like, “Hmm, should I put in loads of fake narrative to keep my friends from finding out that it’s me?” And then I came to the conclusion that it wouldn’t be a big deal even if they did find out. So I’m feeling a bit more freed up!
So your friends don’t know you’re a virgin?
No, they don’t. And objectively, at my great age — I mean, I’m ancient – I know that it really means so little. It [...]
“Everything had been taken by the movers, save for one computer power cable, lying in the middle of the empty office, no power outlet or computer case nearby. The words Mac #1 were written on the cable in black marker, and had been boldly legible at one time, but were now faded and smudged to near invisible. A mover lifted the limp cord up to his partner and shrugged, then tossed it in an empty garbage can.”
“The mug shattered on the kitchen floor, but Emily was too busy to clean it up. Guests walked over and by the shards as she waived them away from the mess, imploring them [...]