The Dave Bry Almanac
7

It Is For A Variety Of Reasons That October Is So Totally Awesome

Hooray! It’s October, which really is a terrific month. It seems to get better and better every year, October. (Or maybe it’s just that all the others get worse and worse, and maybe October does, too. But a bit less dramatically so.) A smarter, more contemplative person might note that as we get older we’re more inclined to appreciate stuff like falling leaves, and the slowing of nature’s life cycles. One might make a date to go walk in the woods somewhere, to take full advantage of this fleeting blip of pleasant weather we get before the gloom and bitter cold of too-short winter days afflict us all with [...]

11

It's June, Tropical Birds Are Taking Over New York City

Welcome to June. The month when it's already too hot.

I hope you had a nice Memorial Day weekend. I did, pretty much. Although it was too hot. And it was too hot yesterday, too. I know it's awfully trite to complain about the heat in New York, and how spring is too short in the city. But I'll do it anyway. It's too hot and spring is too short in New York City. Spring meaning not the quarter of the calendar, of course, but the fleeting blip of time each year when you can be outside without a coat, but also without a coating of sweat. When you can [...]

8

The Most Confusing Month Of The Year

It’s March! Spring is coming! And no one knows what to do.

It’s very difficult to make up one’s mind about anything this time of year. It's very hard to commit. I’ve noticed it in the flock of pigeons that fly around outside my apartment all day. First of all, they seem to have doubled in number over the winter.

10

September Should Not Be This Not Good!

So, September. Somehow, we’ve made it. Seemed sort of touch-and-go there for a minute.

In lots of ways, September is one of the very best months we have. The fetid, humid wilt of August lifts into a cooler, cleaner late-summer balm. The sky is bluer and the clouds whiter and puffier than at any other time of year. Baseball games start to actually matter and corn is so sweet you don’t even have to cook it. Sure, there’s the inevitable reminder of aging and mortality that comes with tipping towards autumn, and when you were a kid, back-to-school time definitely sucked. (Except, not entirely. There was the excitement of novel [...]

4

Welcome To May: Expect Zombies

It's May! It's May! How are you feeling? Merry? This is supposed to be such a merry month. If you were outside this past weekend, you could see why. Spring has sprung, the weather is warming. All those April showers seem to have done their job. Flowers are everywhere—on the ground, in the trees. It was raining pink cherry blossom petals in Washington Square Park over the weekend. One fell right on to the banh mi sandwich I was eating; I couldn't even complain.

4

Welcome to Mute Nostril Agony: It's August

Hello. It’s August. When we know that, despite the fact that there is a large headline across the top of today’s New York Times, nothing ever happens.

This is a strange situation for a month with such a robust name. August! Named for a king, hinting of a strong wind, carrying portents of a heady future.

But no. There is not a strong wind. There is a hot, fetid calm. There are the doldrums.

True sailing is dead.

6

Welcome To April, Which Doesn't Seem So Great Now, Does It?

Tracy died, you’ve surely heard, soon after a long-fought civil war. Happened this month. When it snows sometimes. Today is one of those times. Welcome to April.