The Continuing Crisis
15

Local Man Cannot Operate Beard Trimmer

Website proprietor Andrew Sullivan continues to have trouble with New York's service industries. He trusted Yelp with barber shop recommendations, and then the barber (allegedly) broke his iPad and trimmed his beard incorrectly!

My starter was a Yelp-recommended, first come, first served joint. I put my name down and was told to come back in 30 minutes. Ok. Back 25 minutes later, I was told it could be done in ten minutes. A further half hour of Angry birds later, I asked when I could get my beard trimmed. 20 minutes. Half an hour later, when they started hedging again when I asked, I left. New York City: wait [...]

2

Phone Bad

Spare a thought for BlackBerry users, who are suffering through their third day of service outages and are also people who have BlackBerries.

3

The Napkin-Shrinking Epidemic That Plagues Our Fine Dining Establishments

"I have ugly news for you. The dinner napkin today is a fraction of its former self. And it matters less and less where you eat or shop. What seemed reasonably gigantic to me is becoming a thing of the past."

5

The Other Euro Crisis

"The Greeks aren't the only ones sick of the euro crisis. Photographers are reaching the end of their tether too, struggling to shoot images of euro coins in various states of distress to illustrate the story. Though some of the photos are absurd, they still get published — because news outlets are equally desperate…. [Photographers] have resorted to using children's toys, arranging a plastic shark to look like it's eating a Lego man holding a Greek flag. They have photographed coins in a free fall. Rumor has it that one photographer poured gasoline on coins to try to make them glow with heat."

10

Should You Panic?

Should you panic? The experts say no, but the experts don't understand just how close you've been cutting it lately, how you've been keeping so many balls in the air without even considering how you're going to get away with it should any of them drop, how you spend your evenings drinking yourself into a stupor because it's the only thing that will silence that insistent, nagging voice in your head that tells you it's all going to come crashing down and in spite of the promise you once showed and the seemingly bright future ahead of you and the way you've always [...]

10

Will We Learn The Lessons Of The Current Crash?

I would like to think that if we make it through the persistent financial troubles of our age and eventually return to some semblance of economic prosperity, the inevitable crash that follows on a few years after will be met with the knowledge that austerity is not a solution to recession, because we have run that experiment this time around it is impossible to argue otherwise, but I know that it's not gonna be the case. Because we're not gonna make it through the persistent financial troubles of our age. It's all downhill from here, folks! Watch out for those fires.

4

Orange Man Demands Orderly Arrangement Of Asses

In the ongoing debt limit saga, House Speaker John Boehner has apparently told recalcitrant members of his caucus to "get your ass in line" because "I can’t do this job unless you’re behind me," which, at the very least, makes the Republicans seem a lot more kinky than previously suspected.