I would like to think that if we make it through the persistent financial troubles of our age and eventually return to some semblance of economic prosperity, the inevitable crash that follows on a few years after will be met with the knowledge that austerity is not a solution to recession, because we have run that experiment this time around it is impossible to argue otherwise, but I know that it's not gonna be the case. Because we're not gonna make it through the persistent financial troubles of our age. It's all downhill from here, folks! Watch out for those fires.

In the ongoing debt limit saga, House Speaker John Boehner has apparently told recalcitrant members of his caucus to "get your ass in line" because "I can’t do this job unless you’re behind me," which, at the very least, makes the Republicans seem a lot more kinky than previously suspected.

Spare a thought for BlackBerry users, who are suffering through their third day of service outages and are also people who have BlackBerries.

"I have ugly news for you. The dinner napkin today is a fraction of its former self. And it matters less and less where you eat or shop. What seemed reasonably gigantic to me is becoming a thing of the past."

Should you panic? The experts say no, but the experts don't understand just how close you've been cutting it lately, how you've been keeping so many balls in the air without even considering how you're going to get away with it should any of them drop, how you spend your evenings drinking yourself into a stupor because it's the only thing that will silence that insistent, nagging voice in your head that tells you it's all going to come crashing down and in spite of the promise you once showed and the seemingly bright future ahead of you and the way you've always managed to pull through in the [...]