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Duane Reade's Progressively More Scary Obama Birthday Cards

Duane Reade—a subsidiary of Walgreens!—carries fine American mass-market cards for every occasion, from "I'm sorry I don't love you enough" to "You should probably get checked out at the clinic" to "happy graduation, foster son of my lesbian partner."

They also carry a diverse line of Barack Obama birthday cards, which range from adulatory to scare-mongering. Here's pics of the front of the card and their inside panel.