Dear brown friends,

So by now you know: if you make noises, move about the plane, feel ill, talk to people in a non-English language, gesture, wear a backpack, or, now, spend your time on the plane "passing notes and writing in a notebook," you will not arrive at your destination, as the allegedly brown passengers on this week's Delta flight from D.C. to Oregon found out.

Please make a note of these forbidden behaviors. It might be best if you just drug yourself into oblivion while flying? But don't get too drugged: if you slur your words or "act strangely," you will also find [...]