Britney Spears, who is 29 years young, would have you believe from her latest communique that she is prepared for the end of the world (either this May, in the rapture, or late 2012). I declare that this is horsepucky. Like she's going to do that upheld-arm-elbow-bang dance move (technical term) while people's faces are melting and the cities slide into the sea and just bop off down the road? Has she seen The Book of Eli? (I have, I was sick recently, and boy howdy, that was not ideal.) It's rough out there in the last gasp of civilization, and she has few viable skills necessary for the end [...]