It's been a while since we've played "Explaining Metropolitan Diary" (previously; and also; to be sure) but… well, here we are, with today's fourth item:

Dear Diary:

Recently, I made an interesting discovery. The eccentric middle-aged man who parades around my quiet Queens suburb sheathed in gowns of the most extravagantly tacky sort, while pushing his companion, a toylike pink and orange poodle (dressed to the nines of course) in an equally ostentatious stroller, is, in fact, a lawyer.

Emily Gifford

This item is enraging in at least four ways.