"'I fear for New York City if Mr. de Blasio gets elected,' said Muffie Potter Aston."

"He just wants to tax everyone to smithereens." (Also: "I would love to support a fourth term for Mike Bloomberg. So if we can float that, you can say Muffie Potter Aston wants a fourth term for Michael Bloomberg.")


Boston Globe Front Page: "But Weather's Nice"

This is an amazing, amazing, wonderful front page, right down to the weather description on the top right. [via]


Just Keep Plucking That $79 Chicken

Good news, the allegedly best roast chicken in New York City only costs $79.


Weird Old Pope Plans To "Use Twitter Wrong"

Joseph Ratzinger, the World War II hero who miraculously became the pope even after his army lost the war, is jumping on the Twitter bandwagon—if by "jumping" you mean "having his handlers announce, two months in advance, that a papal Twitter account will be launched at year's end." Also, the pope will not actually be typing crazy tweets about Obama being a Kenyan and gay people not being able to get married because they are infected by Satan. (Just kidding, the latter position is actually Vatican doctrine.) What kind of elderly sociopath right-wing public figure doesn't type his or her own insane observations on Twitter? Somebody doesn't understand Twitter is [...]