This ad for Britain's Secret Intelligence Service is actually pretty great.

"Some bars don't let you in if you're not 'dressed right'. I wasn't allowed in one back home because I was showing the tattoos on my thighs. I couldn't give a damn though, I've near enough got my arse out tonight."

"The brother of a murder victim chased a dog walker with a samurai sword the day before his mother held a march against knife crime."

While overall crime in England and Wales was down 4% last year, "[t]he number of knifepoint robberies rose by 10%." Robbery in general was up 4%, but there's no indication how much of that was caused by the epidemic of hugger-muggery sweeping the Island. [Via]

"Revellers in Manchester have been warned to be on their guard following a spate of thefts by 'hugger muggers,' who cuddle their target while picking their pockets." Hugger muggers! Now all I have to do is come up with a rhyme for "stabbers" and I can predict the next crime wave.

God, how unattractive would one have to be to be considered too ugly for British people?

"One in 20 Britons has a criminal ancestor while one in 100 are related to pirates, new findings have shown."

Here is where the stabbing happens in Scotland.