Investigative Reports
5

What Time Is 2016?

The science of eras in an imperfect one, but it is not an art: It is simply hard to practice, because its defining quality—time—is superior to all others. The beginning of a historical period can rarely be pinpointed until it has passed; the end is often forgotten before it is ever determined.

For example! Political experts have been struggling with a particularly difficult question since at least 2011: When is 2016? Irrelevant old-timers insist that 2016 cannot start until 2015, but nobody has paid much credence to such stubborn contrarianism since 1992, which began in 1989. Eager young hotshots, using a mixture of traditional and theoretical methods, have suggested that [...]

6

The Great New York City Children's Day Fireworks Scandal

Why, you may have asked, do we keep telling you that there will be fireworks to see each weekend, and then, when you venture down to the river or up to the rooftop, you find no fireworks at all?

Malfeasance. Potentially mismanagement. Possibly even great evil. Perhaps even a deep-seated hatred of children?

According to (the recently dismembered) Time Out, Saturday, June 18th was to be "Children's Day NYC, at the South Street Seaport. (Not to be confused with Missing Children's Day, which is held on May 25th, and is totally different.) "More free family entertainment closes the day with the Target Fireworks Spectacular," they and many other [...]