Hurricane Sandy
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Good News, There Is No Big Socialist Government, Or Else It Would Be Eagerly Helping Cold Hungry People in New York City, Instead of Ignoring Them

The National Guard is dropping off food and water in the Rockaways at least, if you know where to look. (Some folks there didn't even know that for days.) Come on, people. (via)

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Does Anyone Remember The Old Ways Of Masturbation?

There are all sorts of questions still surrounding the storm and its aftermath, and this is certainly not the most important query, but I still can't help wondering: How are people without power masturbating now?

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12 Hurricane Recipes, from Pot Brownies to Bolognese

I already made this apple pie! Using, essentially, this pie crust, and then "throwing apples inside it" and "baking it." GAZE UPON MY CRUST AND DESPAIR. What have YOU done with your life today? Please don't go hungry. Bad things happen to people locked in houses who get hungry. Here are some tips, depending on the staples you purchased drunk and at the last moment yesterday.

• Got apples? Tarte Tatin.

• Got arborio rice? Risotto.

• Got pot? It's pot brownies.

• Got lemons? These lemon squares are A+.

• Got lettuce? Stir-fry for you.

• Cherries? Meet clafoutis.

• Plums? [...]

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Exactly Where and When to Be Useful in New York City Today

Blue = volunteer locations, green = dropoff locations.

Here's a pretty good summary of volunteer locations for today in and around New York City. From there and other sources, here's where to go.

GOWANUS Volunteers and donations are needed for the Gowanus Houses. Info and schedule here; volunteer sign-up form here.

RED HOOK Report to 402 Van Brunt starting at 10 a.m.

STATEN ISLAND Report to Christian Pentecostal Church, 900 Richmond Rd, corner of Ralph Pl, starting at 9 a.m.

ROCKAWAYS Cars and drivers needed and, it is stressed, people to do labor. Donations report to 443 Beach 54th starting at 8:30 a.m.

EVERYWHERE Report [...]

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Brooklyn Smug Reaches New Hideous Heights

"Oh, it's terrible in Manhattan, we can only imagine how awful it must be in Brooklyn," Manhattan people were emailing the night of the storm, before they couldn't really email any more. Yes: most of Brooklyn lost cable TV for about six hours. There were some twigs about on the broad sidewalks too. Although, the DVRs still played! So most Brooklynites didn't notice much of a thing, outside of the devastation of Red Hook and some more localized disasters, except when Brooklyn was blinded by the Ghostbusters-like shooting lights of Manhattan's power transformers exploding.

Now lots of downtown Manhattan hold-outs turned have-nots are refugees in Brooklyn—except for the likes of [...]

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A Ton of Long Things You Can Start Watching on Netflix Now!

Shut in? Cooped up? In for the long haul? Well start enjoying the TV while you still have power! Let's indulge together. UPDATED!

• The entire Brideshead Revisited. It is ELEVEN EPISODES LONG and it is so fantastic. Really, just so enjoyable. There's two whole episodes that take place on a pitching ocean liner! And the best gay sidekick in history.

• "Alias" season one. Did you somehow not watch "Alias," as I did not? Well finally, FINALLY, they released the early seasons to the wild. Everyone's telling me to stop halfway through season 2 but of course I will not. I will abandon the show on MY terms. Spoiler: [...]

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The "Ignoring Your Hurricane Gut" Compact

So we're all agreed that the polite thing to do for the next couple of weeks is not mention the extra pounds we've put on over the last few days, right? RIGHT?

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11 Great Stories to Save for When the Power Goes Out

Do you live in a home without books or magazines? Or have you burned them all for heat yet? Then great news! It's likely a good chunk of the East Coast may lose power and Internet. So here are some things that you could either PRINT OUT (yes, I am serious) or of course also save to your nice, long-lasting-battery'd digital reading device.

The story of the Occupy Wall Street Archive starts with Jeremy Bold, so we might as well too. When Hollywood decides to cash in and make its OWS movie, central casting could do worse than work off a picture of Bold—he has a dark goatee and black [...]