Election 2012
1

Still Savoring Republican Defeat

Say this for Politico: using a giant picture of Pauline Kael to illustrate an article on the Republican media cocoon is pretty great. As is this: "In this reassuring conservative pocket universe, Rasmussen polls are gospel, the Benghazi controversy is worse than Watergate, 'Fair and Balanced' isn’t just marketing and Dick Morris is a political seer."

12

The New, Old Ground Game In New Hampshire

Ten days ago, in Nashua, New Hampshire, Barack Obama gave what had become his standard, sluggish 2012 appeal to a passive crowd of 8,000 voters. A week later, up the road in Concord, though, the confidence of 2008 was back. The crowd of 14,000 had that old Hopey and Changey buzz. Standing stage left were the Davids Axelrod and Plouffe looking very happy to be on the verge of another victory. He closed the campaign with Jay Z, who is obviously now a socialist. What had changed in the interceding week? Had Sandy jolted Barack Obama back in line, even as it had, to borrow Nate Silver's observation, "[...]

1

Who Will Lose Because Of The Crucial 'Halo 4' Demographic?

Will the release of Halo 4 "keep dedicated players from voting"? Um, I hope so?

5

Vote Romney For A President Hillary

"Note well, Democrats: If Mr. Obama wins, Hillary Clinton will never become president." Note it well, Democrats. NOTE IT WELL.

7

Are You Smarter Than A Polling Wizard? Prove It In The Awl 2012 Electoral College Pool!

Map from 270 To Win.

There's been so much betting this election season. Mitt Romney bet that Texas mannequin $10,000 he'd never even heard of health care while Governor of Massachusetts. Donald Trump bet Barack Obama $5 million that the President got mediocre grades from an online terrorist college. And Nate Silver just bet Joe Scarborough $1,000 that math and statistics are more powerful than sorcery. Why should you be left out of this hot electoral action? Join us for The Awl's first quadrennial electoral college pool!

Here's how it works. Go over to 270 To Win and color the map according to how you [...]

20

Now Nate Silver Is Just Laughing At You

.@joenbc: If you think it's a toss-up, let's bet. If Obama wins, you donate $1,000 to the American Red Cross. If Romney wins, I do. Deal?

— Nate Silver (@fivethirtyeight) November 1, 2012

The Nate Silver Wars are still going—but it's embarrassing to even refer to it as a proper battle, since the weirdo pundits who think he's a LIBERAL MOUTHPIECE are too busy breathing through their own mouths to be understood. If you were busy "being without power" or "helping out your neighbors" or otherwise having a life and/or suffering in the hurricane, perhaps you missed the most hilarious intellectual breakdown of the election yet. [...]

4

Even Romney's Tan Inauthentic

"It has been one of the running mysteries of the 2012 campaign trail: How Mitt Romney maintains the ruddy, glowing, and occasionally changing skin tone that helps him project an image of 65-year-old vigor." —Yes, that's been the mystery. Anyway, two reporters crack the case.

9

And The Winner Of The Awl 2012 Electoral College Pool Is…

In order to become a wizard, you must first apprentice to a wizard, and the acolytes who followed Nate Silver's lead did very well in The Awl's first quadrennial electoral college pool. Out of 160 entries received, 9 of you predicted the map exactly. (That's right: we're calling Florida for Obama. I mean, it's Friday.) This means that 5.6% of this website's readers have documented psychic powers. You can't argue with that. It's math.

Of the people who predicted the map exactly, 78% overestimated Obama's popular vote total by several million votes, reflecting a wildly inflated expectation for voter turnout. The remaining 22% didn't guess Obama's popular vote at [...]

6

Tonight's Election Coverage: Five Things To Watch

Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home (IFC): I think this is the one with the whales. Nanoo-nanoo!

"The Cosby Show" (TV Land): They say the Obama presidency would not have been possible were it not for the gentle example of Cliff and Clair. On the chance that the contemporary, reality-TV version is canceled, why not bask in the memories? Hopefully it's one of the rare episodes where an old blues guy comes to visit.

"Full House" (Nickelodeon): They say the Romney presidency would not have been possible were it not for the gentle example of Danny Tanner. Actually, nobody has said that, but what the heck, you've got a whole [...]

0

The Instagram Voting States

RED: Do not take photographs inside your polling place, fool. Is your Instagram a crime? Likely!

TAN: Do not show anyone a photograph of your ballot or your ballot. These laws—for instance, Oregon's—are commonly phrased as "A person may not show the persons own marked ballot to another person to reveal how it was marked." This is how poll watchers look for forced voting and bullying. Like when your mom checks your ballot to make sure you voted for Glenn Beck or Roseanne or whoever.

BLUE: GO NUTS UP IN THERE. (Do not go nuts. There are lots of grey areas. Do check your state!) Also?

13

Who Will Be the Wrongest Pundit of Them All?

You have until midnight tonight to get in your bets for The Awl 2012 Electoral College Pool. WHO WILL WIN? Maybe Mitt Romney. Maybe you! Maybe both you and Mitt Romney.

In the name of accountability, here's your one-stop shop for taunting the punditocracy after the election. Here are assertions from notable pundits about who will win the actual electoral college betting pool.

Romney Wins

Walter Kirn, political correspondent for the New Republic, believes from his time on the road that the polls and the analysts are going down.

Being out there and chatting and seeingtells me this election will be the pollsters and quants HMS Titanic moment.

[...]
2

Oh No, Not Again: Florida's Ballot Crammed With Wingnuttery by Nutbags

With 11 complicated ballot measures—all of them state constitutional amendments, all of them far-reaching and bizarre—the ballot for election day in Florida runs to ten pages. Already several days before election day, lines are running long at voting places in Miami Beach—so long that candidates for local office can work the voting lines, reports a local spy, because the voters lined up are well over 100 feet from the actual polling place. Among other measures, the ballot gives voters the opportunity to amend the constitution to:

• Not use public funds for abortion

• A crazy Tea Party judge selection amendment, which is basically an attempt to get [...]

1

East Coast Death Storm: What Does It Mean For The Election?

"Here are five questions about Sandy's impact on the election: 1) Will Mitt Romney's momentum be stopped? 2) Does Obama have a natural advantage because he's president? 3) How will ad strategies be affected? 4) How will the storm affect early voting? 5) Does this throw a wrench into Obama's vaunted ground game?" —Thank God I'll be drowned for this. Good luck, survivors.

6

God Was For Rape Before He Was Against It

"God does not want rape, and by no means was I suggesting that He does. Rape is a horrible thing, and for anyone to twist my words otherwise is absurd and sick." —Indiana Republican Senate candidate Richard Mourdock clarifies his declaration that "even when life begins with that horrible situation of rape, that is something that God intended to happen."

5

Notes From Inside Obama's Election Night Party In Chicago

5:45 The 146 bus dropped me off in front of Soldier Field and I started walking across empty parking lots, heading toward McCormick Place. It was raining and dark and the lights of election headquarters served as my guide. I thought about dwelling in that metaphor for a while, but I was in too much of a hurry to get inside.

The rally was being held in Hall D, a cement space the size of an airplane hangar. The guests hadn't been let in yet, so I had a chance to see the event stage across the empty hall. The press area was opposite the stage. National broadcasters had the [...]

5

Understanding The American Election

"Two German illustrators have visualized the most important facts about the US presidential election using burgers and fries, the stereotypical American meal. The playful images are packed with both calories and information. They also betray a few differences in how fast food is eaten in Europe."

37

Did You Still Not Vote Yet? Here Is One Good Reason Why: Paul Ryan

Everyone's going to say the same thing, you're going to hear it all day, sorry to be so boring. Oh, do please go vote.

Now, if you are Canadian, or a felon, or both, which is pretty likely with YOU PEOPLE, I am very sorry. How annoying, I am sure. Or perhaps you messed up your voter registration and you are cowering in shame in your hovel. That is legitimate.

As for the rest of you… do you know how to vote? It's not hard. Here's a handy step-by-step guide.

But I would very much like you to vote. I have heard the arguments about being "implicated" in [...]

11

The Truth About Voting Machines: What's Real And What's A Nutty Election Fraud Conspiracy

Earlier in the week I casually retweeted a note from the activist Bob Fitrakis. He'd posted a story about secret new software patches that had been rolled out to Ohio voting machines, with dark suggestions of shenanigans afoot in the counting of the votes there. Election maniacs may recall Fitrakis from the Ohio debacle of 2004, when he worked with Cliff Arnebeck to try to prove election fraud. (The questionability of the 2004 results is not quite in tinfoil territory; many not-outwardly-foaming observers do still believe that the Kerry-Bush election was stolen in Ohio.)

Soon a response came from one @JoeBeOne:

Please don't spread shaky voting machine [...]

3

Did This Ad Just Win Ohio For Mitt Romney?

Um, no, but oh thank God I needed a laugh today.

7

Ronald Reagan Ate Cake Naked On A Toilet First

There are no new jokes, but what's funny here is going to be the sudden conservative silence.