coffee is a plague
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Where Fancy Garbage Coffee Has Never Gone Before

All coffee is good, from the shittiest diner to the most annoyingly rigorous high-end shop, except for coffee that comes in a pod and claims to be annoyingly rigorous and high end, but which is actual garbage that has been toasted, ground up, dehydrated and put into a non-biodegradable plastic coffin. And now that coffee is in space, which is a good reason to never leave this big dumb rock with all of its perfectly fine non-garbage coffee.

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The Rise of Fake Good Coffee

It's true, as Oliver Strand writes, that the coffee scene has never been better in New York—or Los Angeles or San Francisco or Portland or basically anywhere—than it is right now. There's more superb coffee and more of it: from Budin's single storefront in Greenpoint serving exquisite Tim Wendelboe, which often tastes more of tea than coffee (for five dollars a cup because shipping from Norway is like, expensive man) to the roughly six hunded Joe locations dotting Manhattan.

Less discussed, however, is the concurrent rise of coffee shops that trade in the signs of "good coffee"* but in fact serve hot sewage.