"Calling the shooting a 'watershed event' in the national debate on gun control, Cerberus Capital, a New York-based firm that manages over $20 billion, said in a statement Tuesday it planned to sell off its investment in the Freedom Group. Freedom Group bills itself as a 'family' of more than a dozen firearm companies including Bushmaster Firearms." —Looks like a certain New York bunch of urban elitists are getting their man cards revoked.

Who wants in on my new firm? Here's how we're going to do it. We're going to open a simple trading market, right, which'll easily get approved by the Commodity Futures Trading Commission, led as it is by Goldman Sachs alums. This will have a forward-facing straight-up predictive betting market on investment-backed lawsuits. (Later we'll open up that market to straight-up gambling on all law cases, because, who wouldn't want to go big on counterintuitive Supreme Court outcomes what with the new Justices?) Then we'll package and roll-up the investments in class action and high-end litigation. We'll let the lawyers openly re-sell their actual debts and [...]

Most New Yorkers will be happy to hear that, on average, Time Warner delivers 91% of promised internet upload/download speeds. Not terrible! Those of us who have AT&T as our Internet provider, however, should all be signing on for a class action lawsuit—although the results of this FCC survey of actual deliverables will not be a surprise to any of us who've benchmarked our speed and found it sorely, wildly lacking. And is anyone surprised that Comcast Cablevision (good morning! Things that start with "C"! More coffee please, interns!), a thoroughly terrible company (check the immense Cablevision archive at Consumerist, for starters!), comes out looking so terribly? (Related: [...]

"Most of the hair that gets shorn is from men. That gets sold to chemical companies and gets reduced to an amino acid called L-cystine, which is used as a leavening agent in baking goods." —Hi, I'm trying not to throw up. Here's a great primer on Scott Carney's look at the markets for humans and their parts. Obviously the incredibly large industry of kidney-harvesting is more truly disgusting but, ack: human hair food. I guess the world isn't really quite that flat after all, since white babies are worth more in the adoption market and expensive organs in "the west" fetch next to nothing to their original owners [...]