"If a young Oliver Twist lived in Brooklyn in 2013, he would probably go to the Brooklyn Porridge Co., a Park Slope pop-up specializing in 'whole grain porridges.'"
Okay, I know I was all, hold out, we're going to get through this death orgy together, but they are not making it easy, particularly when your inbox fills up with stuff like this: To remember this tragic day and provide historical context to those who did not live through it, Boston.com will present a unique experience – a historically accurate live blog featuring a timeline of November 22, 1963 – as the site would have reported the assassination using today's technology…. A team of Boston.com digital producers and editors… have spent weeks gathering photos, videos, and [...]
I mean, I guess if you want to be sanguine about it you can tell yourself that we're all going to die soon anyway, what does it matter what kind of idiot markings people get on their skin. That's about the most upbeat advice I have to offer [...]
"The band is planning to introduce New Yorkers to their new double-album… with a pair of scantily publicized concerts, played under a false name, in a former sheet-metal and plastics factory in an industrial pocket of Brooklyn with enough room for just 3,000 people."
"Paul Harrison, Chris Kantola, and Jesse Angle, scrounging for bitcoins outside a public library in Pensacola, Florida," is the caption for the photo accompanying this article headlined, "Homeless, Unemployed, and Surviving on Bitcoins," in which the following sentences appear, one after the other: "Jesse Angle isn’t your average homeless person. But he shows that bitcoin is changing the world in more ways than you might imagine. Some believe it could provide a major boost to the country’s 640,000 homeless, not only in providing extra pocket change for those on the street, but by helping urban homeless shelters more quickly secure donations [...]
Did you wake up this morning bright-eyed and full of joy, ready to embrace the day? Well don't click here.
This account is hoax created by Italian journalist Tommasso Debenedetti
— Bob Dylan (@BobDylanTweets) December 11, 2013
"Contrary to widespread reports, Bob Dylan did not join Twitter this morning," is a sentence we were able to read here today in 2013, where everything is apparently bullshit and the past and future blend together in a horrible melange of the futile and the mundane. As you were.
"Several photogenic felines from the five boroughs are featured in the traveling 2013 Internet Cat Video Festival, landing in Brooklyn Friday."
"Sinead O’Connor and Miley Cyrus Clash Over Mental Health," is an actual headline I just read, here in what are apparently End Times.
"He has braved the Nevada desert for Burning Man, been trampled by a bull in Pamplona, lived it up at Mardi Gras and partied just steps from Kim Kardashian and Kanye West in Miami." —God, everything out there today is just so depressing.
"Welcome to The Hill's annual 50 Most Beautiful list! This year marks the 10th anniversary of the list and brings in a slew of new faces as, for the first time, White House and executive branch employees were eligible for consideration. But you'll still find plenty of the congressional cuties that have been the backbone of the past nine lists."
"Libation's EDM Brunch offered 7½ hours of electronic dance music with a side of eggs. Partygoers typically arrived in the early afternoon, some wearing glowstick-festooned headbands, sunglasses or bracelets, and by 2 p.m., tables around the club were littered with used napkins and half-finished mimosas. The breakfast burrito and fruit plate garnered rave reviews. Andi Cross and Lex Houser, the hosts of the party and the owners of Bad Kids Clothing, a line of EDM-inspired gear, danced and mingled with their guests. They hail from Philadelphia, a city with a less robust club scene. 'This party is bananas,' said Ms. Cross, wearing a foam banana suit. Standing behind her, Ms. [...]
"Vaping Is the Fanboy-Charged Future of Cigarettes and Weed," is a headline I just read that helped me feel a lot better about the fact that I won't be around all that much longer. [Via]
I guess the positive way to look at this is that the aliens are probably like, "You know what? Let's just skip that one and take over some other planet."
"I don’t really have high expectations, but this is kind of like the new Cronut, and I want to experience it first."