Mario Monti, the Prime Minister of Italy, spent New Years Eve at home with "his wife, their son, daughter and respective partners, Mrs Monti's sister with her husband and four children aged between one and six." His wife served dinner. God, Italy, it's like I don't even know you anymore.

"Berlusconi's political agenda is very clear: he has been reported as saying that his party will 'unplug Monti's government life support whenever necessary'. And this is likely to happen as soon as his name rises in the polls again. There couldn't be a clearer indication of Berlusconi's plans: in the expectation that Italians will quickly forget the incompetence he displayed while in power, Berlusconi hopes to lead his party to success at the next general election in 2013. Those who had hoped that Berlusconi would finally withdraw from politics to write his biography will be sorely disappointed."

“You never abandoned us.”
—Comedian Antonio Cornacchione mourns the departure of Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi, who resigned over the weekend to the great regret of the nation's satirists. They can only hope that this prediction of his inevitable return proves true.

It's Silvio Berlusconi's greatest comedy hits. The article omits a lot of his "ladies from the opposition are so ugly" bits, but there's enough here to give you a general sense of his material.

"Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi has said he will step down after the next budget is approved by Parliament, a statement from the president's office said Tuesday, marking a painful end to his long dominance of Italian politics." OR IS IT?

Is this the end for Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi? Having already asked that question approximately 7000 times in the last two-and-a-half years, I am not prepared to say anything definitive, but it's not looking good. For Silvio, I mean.

Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi's latest album was supposed to drop in September, but has been delayed "out of deference to the political and economic crisis engulfing Italy." There''s no word on when the record, titled Silvio Berlusconi Does Sex To Your Ears, will see a release. Unlike Silvio, who is probably seeing one right now. (Kidding! The record is really called Ho lasciato i soldi sul comò, or True Love.)

"When one of my guests said 'Are we going to have some bunga bunga after dinner?' they were just talking about dancing. I never took part because I have vowed never to dance. I have not smoked since I managed to save my first business adventure from an inglorious ending and I don't gamble since I risked making a fool of myself with a professional card player and I don't dance since I promised a friend who was dying, that if they lived I would not dance again." READ MORE

"WITH his ratings at record lows, scandal-hit Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi today quipped his party should change its name to 'Go Pussy!' in the latest gaffe likely to incense swathes of voters."

"Every Italian feels he or she stands alone against the world, or at least the neighbors. Survival—personal, family, social and economic—is a source of pride and a test of ingenuity. Much has been written about Italians' individualism and resourcefulness, and Mr. Berlusconi embodies these qualities. First he amassed his fortune, earning his spurs as a self-made man. Next, he built on Italians' distrust of everything shared, our intolerance of rules and the inner satisfaction that we take in finding private solutions to collective problems. In Italy, there is no real public pressure for a new, fairer tax system. People simply figure out ways to evade the one they already have." READ MORE