Book 'Em

Three Rotten Classic Books I Never Want to See Again

When I was in school, I was forced to read any number of books that I hated. By this method, schools do a pretty solid job of turning off many kids from reading for good. God forbid you should read anything "fun," or "readable," or "not boring and shitty." No, no: It's a steady diet of Johnny Tremain and opaque Toni Morrison novels for you. Your assignment tonight is to read 70 pages of Song of Solomon, or slit your wrists and never come back to school. LEARNING.

Everyone has a classic book, one that's adored by English teachers and hipsters the world over, that they can't stand. I don't [...]