Bendy Elbows
8

Happy Bourbon Day!

Hello there! As is the case every time this day comes around on the calendar, June 14th is the day we celebrate the birth of bourbon, that sweet Kentucky nectar the legends tell was first produced back in 1789. How should you commemorate this important occasion? I suggest "with bourbon." Here are two classic recipes I have designed to highlight this most perfect of liquids. You may remember them from earlier celebrations, but if you were actually celebrating properly you probably do not, so what the heck, let's give them another shot.

4

Why Are You Such A Suggestible Drunk?

"Ever wondered why you ordered a Cosmo in 2010, an absinthe cocktail in 2011, a malt whiskey in 2012, and are rocking up to the bar for a Moscow Mule this year?"

0

Will Climate Change My Wine Cellar?

Screw floods and other weather disasters, how is global warming going to change the way wine is made?

3

British Lady Says American Broads Are A Bunch Of Lightweights

A British woman says her co-genderists on this side of the pond are happier and healthier because they drink less alcohol, which sounds a lot like a challenge to me. Ladies, will you stand up for America?

2

People Get Different Things From Drinking

"You know how sometimes you come home after a few drinks and have a strange, overwhelming urge to clean everything?"

2

Alcohol Improves World's Most Boring "Sport"

The Wall Street Journal had to send someone all the way to Minnesota to report out the story that fishing is only tolerable when you're drunk.

2

Your Liver Is Not As Dumb As You Think

"So what’s not to like about a dry January? Surely a lengthy period of abstinence after a few weeks of indulgence is good for your health? Well, I’m afraid it’s all poppycock. As a doctor, you might expect me to give the concept my total backing, but I’m afraid you’d be wrong." —This guy says taking a month off of drinking actually does more harm than good, which is advice I can get behind right up to the part where he counsels moderation instead.

1

What Wine Goes With Global Warming?

What wine will be drinking during our future of fire and flood? If you said, "Who cares, life is but a grim slog through boredom and despair, what does it matter which varietal we choose to blot out the pain with?" you are essentially correct but you do sound a little joyless, you know? Unwind, you're going to end up in the ground anyway. Might as well savor a few suitable spirits before the inevitable occurs.

3

Purim Is Liquor Store Christmas For Jews

"'Jewish men are very interested in the selection of whiskey available at a wedding or bar/bat mitzvah,' said Jonathan Goldstein, vice president of Park Avenue Liquor Shop, a Manhattan store known for its whiskey selection. 'They very often will pick up a special bottle to offer close friends or relatives.' Of the Friday before the Jewish holiday of Purim, last February, he said, 'It was like Christmas in here.'"

3

Drink To Forget That The Soup Sucks

You know, if someone is going to try to pull the "cold soup" scam on you they may as well do the honorable thing and add some booze to it.

2

Alcohol Tastes Like Happiness: Science

Even a simple taste of alcohol fills your brain with sweet promises of incomparable delight, which explains why even that bottle of Cynar will eventually be empty.

15

No Ice, Two Bucks

You know, if somebody charged me two dollars for not putting ice in my bourbon I don't think I'd be able to manage the level of restraint this gentleman seemed to show. Of course, he turned it into a free drink, which is probably a valuable lesson in the importance of keeping calm.

4

Scoldy Drinks Article Induces Brief Reverie

"IMAGINE, if you can, drinking 33 litres of vodka." —Oh, I can, New Scientist. I can, I can, I can! I'm sorry. Where were we?

3

Drink 'Til You Explode

"The evils of alcohol abuse have long been known and preached against by the more sober-minded, but for a period of about two hundred years imbibers had a particularly dire consequence to fear: that too much drinking would cause them to catch fire and be reduced to a small pile of greasy ash. "

6

It's Not Beer That's Making You Unsightly, Fatty

"'The beer belly is a complete myth. The main source of calories in any alcoholic beverage is alcohol. …There's nothing magical about the alcohol in beer, it's just alcohol,' says Charles Bamforth, a professor of food science and technology at the University of California Davis…. All alcohols contain the same caloric ingredients. There is nothing special about beer calories that cause them to head straight to the belly." —There's a pro forma warning that drinking too much alcohol is bad for your liver—No shit! Next you're going to tell me that the NSA spies on people!—but other than that it is all good news. I mean, depending what [...]

3

New Jersey Drinking Even Less Dignified Than Usual

If you are drinking at a TGI Friday's in Jersey you are probably better off sticking with the well brands. Also, if you are drinking at a TGI Friday's in Jersey you probably did something really, really terrible in a previous life, because that is like set-fire-to-an-orphanage karma right there. [Via]

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Commenter Really Into Alcohol

"Reading articles like this I often wonder if I'm alone in drinking because I … like the taste of alcohol. I don't find getting drunk all that pleasant or a good social prop (quite the opposite, I hate making a fool of myself because drink has dulled my social reactions). Because of its depressant effect I find I drink less when I'm feeling down than when I'm feeling good. I drink because I don't know of anything nicer than a rich red wine or port on a winter's evening, or a crisp, mineral white wine on a summer's day. I love the complexity and sharpness of a good IPA and [...]

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If You're Going Out Drinking On St. Patrick's Day You Need To Watch This Video First

As an alcoholic I have always had a deep-seated hatred of St. Patrick's Day, trivializing as it does the hard work that I and so many of my fellow dipsomaniacs have put in over the years to slake our insatiable thirst no matter what toll it takes on employment, relationships or physical and mental health. As a humanist I similarly despise it, since it furthers the terrible ethnic stereotype that the Irish are the worst kind of drunks—rowdy Sullys and sullen Mollys who can't hold their liquor, keep their voices down or vomit in anything approaching proximity to a toilet or washbasin—when in fact they are some of the [...]

4

Heaviest Drinkers Cooler Longer

"People who grew up in states where it was legal to drink alcohol before age 21 are more likely to be binge drinkers later in life, according to a new study."

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Are Women The New Problem Drinkers, Because They Are Lady Binge-Drinkers?

Another glass ceiling has been shattered by women, as "binge drinking" is no longer just something most men do all the time. According to the U.S. Centers for Disease Control, one-in-four college ladies and one-in-eight of all gals over 18 are dangerous binge drinkers, consuming up to … four alcoholic beverages per "binge." Four drinks is binge drinking, now?

These wild drunkards are going crazy with the four drinks up to … three times a month, according to the CDC. Well good gracious, that's almost having drinks on a single night of every weekend, as long as you don't drink at all on the fourth weekend. Further research may [...]