Republican politicians like Marco Rubio and Ileana Ros-Lehtinen are springing into action to keep illegal immigrants in the US of A! These illegals who are here to leech off our system include a local Florida high school valedictorian with a 6.7 GPA (!??) and her brother, who just returned from a tour of duty in Afghanistan. When will these foreigners stop sneaking into our country and taking our jobs (as valedictorians and as soldiers in unpopular wars)?

Did you want to pick up something with "stopping power" in a 9mm Glock? Get an Arizona state ID and you're gold—no background check, no recording of the sale, nothing. This Mike Bloomberg-sponsored investigation into "casual gun sellers" at trade shows in Arizona is actually really amazing—particularly when the gun sellers nod and smile while being notified the undercover buyer couldn't pass a background check. (Mike Bloomberg! Every time you want to start a mayoral recall campaign, he does something awesome.)