"Not allowing myself to be bullied by the vocal minority is… the war I want to win," says an Oregon football coach who refused to relent when the forces of oppression tried to prevent him from taking his middle school charges to a local Hooters for an awards dinner.
Ineffable Sadness Of Life In These United States Finds Expression In Form Of Local Texas News Story About Proper Attire For McDonald's Diners
Somehow it is not even Friday yet.
"The Iowa Faith and Freedom Coalition gathered in Cedar Rapids Monday night to hear from the three Republican candidates for the Senate nomination. The candidates had trouble differentiating themselves ideologically, as all hewed faithfully to the right-wing line, until David Young promised that 'as a Senator, he would invite New York Senator Chuck Schumer to lunch so that he could share the good news of Jesus Christ.'"
'I am so happy that we were able to work together across the aisle in a bipartisan way to solve this problem,' said Senator Susan Collins, Republican of Maine, who helped spearhead the last-minute negotiations. 'It’s nice to know when we work together we really can solve problems.' —Gun violence? Meat safety? Childhood hunger? Guess what they came together to solve!
"In the most obese state in the most obese country on the face of the earth in the history of the human race…" would be a good opening for a children's book. As a real-life story, however, it is a little less whimsical.
"Next week is 40 years since the landmark abortion-rights decision Roe v. Wade and a new poll shows the majority of people under 30 can’t name what the case was about."
As the great Butch Hancock noted of his birthplace, "Life in Lubbock, Texas, taught me two things: One is that God loves you and you're going to burn in Hell. The other is that sex is the most awful, filthy thing on Earth and you should save it for someone you love." It's our contradictions that make us beautiful in the eyes of the Lord, I guess. Anyway, I love how the people they talk to about this billboard are like, "Yeah, maybe I'll look it up next time I'm online or whatever." I guess that counts as a kind of storm.
The promise of this country used to be if you worked hard and played by the rules you would be okay and your kids would be a little bit better off than you were. Now we live with the hope that maybe we'll find free money in a box of junk food. Oh well, we had a good run.
Comments sections are "some of the darkest places online," says a guy from 'Today,' and social media is "the new Ku Klux Klan white hood," a lady agrees, and you know what, when you realize how upset some people appeared to get over a Cheerios ad, you can sort of see their point.
"But the Shooter will discover soon enough that when he leaves after sixteen years in the Navy, his body filled with scar tissue, arthritis, tendonitis, eye damage, and blown disks, here is what he gets from his employer and a grateful nation: Nothing. No pension, no health care, and no protection for himself or his family." —Things have not worked out so well for the Seal Team 6 assassin who took out Osama bin Laden, America's most wanted global terror mastermind Bond villain. Update: Someone should have told him about the VA hospital though.
"It's like eating three orders of Olive Garden's Lasagna Classico plus an order of tiramisu for dinner." —The Center for Science in the Public Interest explains just what kind of value you get when you order the Cheesecake Factory's Bistro Shrimp Pasta, "made with a butter and cream sauce and topped with battered, fried shrimp," which comes in at over 3000 calories.
There's nothing like going out to some sun-blasted airfield an hour outside of town to see the famous Blue Angels fly around so close to each other that you never know when they'll crash into the spectators—it's the perfect mix of NASCAR and military worship, and Republicans in Congress have shut down this beloved display of air superiority.
"The Navy believes there is value in demonstrating the professionalism and capabilities of our Navy and Marine Corps Naval Aviation team, thus inspiring future generations of Sailors and Marines," the Blue Angels said in a love letter to Obama press release. "The Navy intends to continue aerial demonstrations in the future [...]
"This month, Americans are marking the 10th anniversary of the invasion of Iraq with a sense of profound introspection."
"More than one-third (36%) of Americans who live in the South agree that God plays a role in determining which team wins a sporting event, compared to nearly 3-in-10 (28%) Americans who live in the Midwest, 1-in-5 (20%) Americans who live in the Northeast, and 15% of Americans who live in the West. Republicans (25%) are, however, equally as likely as Democrats (28%) and independents (26%) to agree that God plays a role in determining which team wins a sporting event." —It's almost time for America's annual passion play. Let's hope God can take a break from killing Muslim kids in Syria to bless the most-deserving group of gigantic [...]