Affirmative Action
5

Fox News Replaces Idiot With Another Idiot

When Fox News got rid of Sarah Palin by offering her a very tiny contract renewal, people who follow these things said, "Oh, Fox News has been forced to scale back the crazy a little bit, because the old white lunatics are quickly dying off and America's population now consists solely of multi-ethnic transgender metrosexuals." But these people were wrong, because Fox News just hired Herman Cain as a paid on-air personality.

Herman Cain was the 2012 GOP presidential frontrunner at some point—everybody was a GOP frontrunner at some point, except for Sarah Palin. Imagine being such a washed-up dingbat that you couldn't even compete with the likes [...]

13

Obama Hires Hiking Store Lady (Oil Executive/Corporate Banker) As Interior Secretary

President Obama has been in a little bit of trouble lately for not having enough women and minorities in his cabinet. It's too bad he doesn't just point to himself and say, "Did you notice I'm a minority? Presidents used to own people who looked like me, until very recently, in geologic time." But instead, Obama is diligently trying to find women and minorities in their various habitats, such as corporate boardrooms.

Sally Jewell, a former oil company official and corporate banker, seems like the perfect candidate to protect our public lands from the greed and destruction of oil companies and Wall Street. But her business experience is not [...]