Posts tagged as This Just In
Science: Women Also Like To Do Sex
Good news, fellas: Women are much less choosy about who they do sex to than previously thought. Researchers from U.S.C. surveyed the easiest demographic, "asking how much time and money college students spent in a typical week pursuing short-, intermediate- or long-term relationships. The proportion of mating effort dedicated to short-term mating was the same for men and women. Similarly, both men and women showed an equivalent tendency to lower their standards for sex partners, and men did not report feeling constrained to have far fewer sexual partners than they truly desired." What a great time to be alive!
Gentleman Persists In Making Uncharitable Remarks About Scale Of Colleague's Endowment
This is too amazing to mar with any kind of comment, so I will just get out of the way: "KEITH RICHARDS has reignited a row with MICK JAGGER – by claiming the singer has a tiny WILLY. The ROLLING STONES pair fell out in 2005 when the guitarist first said Sir Mick had a 'small c**k'. Keith, 66, was forced to publicly apologise. Now he says Sir Mick's ex MARIANNE FAITHFULL 'had no fun with Mick's tiny todger'."
This Is Why People Find Alt Weeklies Annoying
Here's another babies die alone in hot cars story, from the New Times chain, regarding which, we are very sorry to bring this topic up. But this supposedly heart-wrenching story, unlike the infamous Story That We Try Not To Mention, in which we learn about how people actually do forget about their babies in cars, is instead about a guy who knew very well that his baby was in a car and, like, went out to check on her and crack the window and then spent a couple hours hanging out with his buddies in the air conditioning at work. So basically you can cool it on the six pages of frothy emotional appeal and talk of "inconsistent laws"-the dude left his kid in a car for a couple of hours and the kid died and he went to jail. That seems unsurprising.
Our Taiwanese Animator Friends Explain Brett Favre (And America)
Actually this is very helpful to those of us who know nothin' about sports. Now I get it why those cheeseheads sports fans are so angry. Also now I understand how they conduct investigations at the NFL-they hang you upside down I guess, like in Ye Olden Tymes. Also something about how the male gaze is actually a laser.
Meet Your Vegetables: Grapes and Things That Taste Like Themselves
When I was a freshman in college, a friend of mine wrote a play for her senior thesis, a play about, I think, Samuel Coleridge and his sister and another poet. (I'm not looking it up because let's see what I remember from those frighteningly many years ago.) Gertrude Stein and Alice B. Toklas were also characters. (This friend is now a successful playwright, so well done there.) There was a lot about writing, and a little about an asthma attack, and also, at one point, Gertrude said to Alice, or Alice said to Gertrude, "Salt makes things taste more like themselves." READ MORE
Actually Big Government, Foreign Intervention and Charity Saved the Miners
Daniel Henninger'sWall Street Journal op-ed column today is mind-boggling. He comes out hard, so it's easy to summarize: "It needs to be said. The rescue of the Chilean miners is a smashing victory for free-market capitalism." His point is that the drill and the drill rig used for the miner rescue were developed by two smallish companies, right here in America. Other bits of technology were also created by companies! The free market innovates! Companies make things! So capitalism saved miners. Pretty much everything about this column is utterly undone by the facts. READ MORE
Shocking Study Reveals Men Not All That Into Cuddling
I have some astounding Science for you this morning. It may very well change the way you view the interactions between men and women. Are you sitting down? Good, let us proceed. READ MORE
Varieties of Things That One Rarely Bothers to Mention or Document
The week I had my wisdom teeth removed, I saw a man in line at the corner bodega drop a pencil, a nice-looking one, without noticing. I was fixed in a Percocet fog and stared at the pencil (handsome wood, something an architect would use) instead of telling the man he had dropped it. His transaction completed, he left, and I stepped up to the register, placing my beer next to it. I then turned to watch as an employee mopping the floor discovered the pencil, picked it up and admired it. I regretted not doing the same when I had the chance, but it seemed fair that all I should receive was the moment of transfer, as one man would never know where the pencil went, and one would never know where it came from, and I alone knew both. READ MORE
Giant Caucasian Athlete Understands Plight Of Downtrodden
"He wasn't seriously making the comparison. In no way was it an attempt to minimize the challenges that members of the minority community face." READ MORE
George Clooney Rakish, Not Helping
A picture may be worth 1000 words, but this picture of George Clooney after hobnobbing with Obama probably cost 500 Democratic votes. Thanks for saving the Sudan, George. But if you want to help in America, what with this election coming up, maybe cough up more than the $19,900 in donations you've made to national Democratic candidates since 2003 (a number that includes the $4,000 for your dad's congressional campaign).
