Monday, April 8th, 2013

The Cast of "12 Angry Men" in Order of Hotness

12. Juror #10

11. Juror #9

10. Juror #3

9. Juror #7

8. Juror #4


Gay Life Is So Pedestrian Now That You Can't Even Film A Porn At A Sex Party

Rawhide, a leather bar on Eighth Avenue that's as old as I am, closed this weekend. It's been open since 1979, and its exit seemed like the latest in a parade of gay ghosts. They're building condos at St. Vincent's hospital these days. Gay newspapers and magazines have withered and folded until almost all that's left is a party picture of Michael Musto and a flyer about go-go boys. There aren't any gay bookstores in Manhattan anymore (for now?). Now that it's all gone, the city is primed for a nostalgic luxuriation in old-school Castro District gayness, which is why a plan recently proposed to me seemed so [...]


Why I'm Still Not An American

It's a simple enough conversation-starter: So, where are you from? What I've learned to say is, "I'm from D.C.," because it's a good enough answer and nobody ever really has anything to say about D.C. anyway.

I was born on Knifecrime Island, in London, and lived there until I was six. I remember it vividly: the song I'd sing with my mother as we walked to school every day, "The Paul Daniels Magic Show" I'd watch with my grandmother, and that epic schoolyard brawl I got in at St. Vincent's where I lost some teeth and Sister Patricia told me to gargle hot salt water until it felt better. [...]


Religious Observances, In Order Of Popularity With Secular America

35. Makahiki 34. L. Ron Hubbard's Birthday 33. Solstices 32. Pioneer Day 30 and 31. Eid al-Adha & Eid al-Fitr (tied) 29. Purim 28. Diwali 27. Ramadan 26. Lent 25. Pesach 24. Epiphany 23. Equinoxes 22. Yom Kippur


Fictional Ducks, In Order From Worst To Best

36. Howard the Duck

35. Mallard Fillmore

34. The Aflac Duck

33. Mrs. Beakley

32. Webbigail Vanderquack

31. Quackula

30. Negaduck

29. Flintheart Glomgold


Popular Aspects of Celebrities And/Or Gadgets, in Ascending Order

• authentic

• virus-free

• attainable

• exclusive

• compatible

• popular

• English-speaking


Seven Years as a Freelance Writer, or, How To Make Vitamin Soup

People like my resume—here's a PDF! But a resume is only the skin of a career. And, even then, it's skin with a lot of make-up on it. People live their lives, knowing the interior of their existence, and can only compare it to the exteriors of the lives of others—so, as a public service, here's a look at the interior of my seven years as a freelancer. That is to say, seven years as one of the choosiest beggars imaginable. The Devil does not wear Prada. The Devil wears Times New Roman. Or Arial Narrow. And he shows up in my inbox every hour on the hour. [...]


The Black Athletes Who Don't Play Basketball

Sometimes athletes are black. Depending on your sport of choice, this might be a big deal. And when a black athlete is on the rise-or even just in the mix-in an affluent, white-dominated sport, it becomes a very big deal. That's because writers like to write about these unexpectedly or surprisingly black athletes. In the past decade, the term "the Tiger Woods of [sport]" became common shorthand for a certain kind of athlete: the kind who is "changing the face of the game."