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'Managed Expectations': The Bitter End, The Final Chapter 2009-09-04
This summer's serial novel by Marisa Meltzer has followed our heroine Nicole from the wilds of Park Slope—well, let's be honest, Prospect Heights—to the terrors of Portland, Oregon, from yoga to therapy, from the grasping arms of men on bad first dates to a terrible two-timer to, whoops!, the bed of her now-engaged ex-lover Jared. It culminates in the sudden wedding of her best friend. All this, during the short, not-so-hot and totally wedding-full summer of 2009, complete with major pregnancy scare. (Like your summer was any less dramatic or terrible?) And now, as they say on T.V., the stunning conclusion…
The unofficial theme to Darshan's wedding was Bollywood meets Bolinas. Luckily the ne plus ultra of hippie weddings was to have a Hindu ceremony, so the two themes coexisted fairly peacefully: sitars, garlands of marigolds, and chapattis were equally beloved by Brooklyn vegans and bankers from Mumbai. (READ MORE) 11
Managed Expectations, Part 13 of 14: Ambivalence at the Milk Bar 2009-08-28
Another 50-Minute Hour — The Problem With Jared (The Second Time Around) — Watching a Couple — Pros and Cons — Well, the Dog is Happy? — An Unexpected Merger and an Invitation!
Single men who were also straight weren't easy to come by in Brooklyn. Not to mention: beyond their Saturn Return, employed, responsible enough for part-time animal ownership, and capable of reading a book every three months.
Ruby made loud throat-clearing noises. "Ahem, ahem AHEM, Nicole," her therapist said. "You're fudging a really important detail here." (READ MORE) 3
Managed Expectations, Part 12 of 14: A Potentially Bad Decision 2009-08-21
A Bad Dream — A Place to Stay — The Obvious Dog-Sitter — Who's a Bitch Now? — Playing 'Remember When'? — What Ex-Boyfriends Are For
At around six am on a Tuesday morning, Nicole awakened to what sounded like a small waterfall flowing through her kitchen. She had been in the middle of a recurring dream she'd been having for at least the last decade. In it, she was always at a large high school that looked nothing like her own leafy alma mater. Even though she was enrolled there, she was lost, looking for a class she had neglected to attend all year-some nights it was science, other nights it was math, once it had been a ceramics class-and she had to show up and get a perfect score on the final in order to graduate. Nicole was still trying to figure out how best to describe the anxiety it caused her for her dream journal when she opened her kitchen door to find a pipe had burst and the ceiling had caved in. (READ MORE) 3
Managed Expectations, Part 11 of 14: A Trip to Little California 2009-08-14
The Test — Pretty in Bed — Little California — The Problem with the Coop — Oh No, Eva! — A Hideous Proposal
Nicole and Darshan sat facing each other on the blue and white tile floor of Nicole's bathroom with the pregnancy test between them.
"How do you feel?" Darsh asked.
"I feel," Nicole started to rub her eyes, "pretty weird." (READ MORE) 1
Managed Expectations, Part 10 of 14: The Moon Cycle 2009-08-07
Nicole Returns to New York City — 12 Days Late! — A Xanax? — What to Expect? — This is Not a Movie — Preparing for the Moment of Truth
The full moon in August is called the Red Moon in India and it's infamous for bringing chaos and destruction. At least, that's what Celeste, Nicole's anusara yoga teacher, said at the beginning of class. (READ MORE) 1
Managed Expectations, Part 9 of 14: Keeping Cool in a Heat Wave 2009-07-31
The West Coast Adventure Takes a Turn — An Unsought Date — Some Spiritual Guidance, in the Form of Books — Liplocked! — In the Buff — Locavore Etiquette — The Worst Thing Happens
Less than twenty-four hours after they ran into each other, Jay called Nicole to ask her out on a date. That was the word he used-"date." She tried to remember the last time a guy had said such a thing to her, and couldn't. (READ MORE) 4
Managed Expectations, Part 8 of 14: Staying Positive in Portland 2009-07-24
A Trip to the West Coast — A Dress Returns — The Jobless Masses — What Kind of Stripper Would You Be? — A Chance Encounter!
Portland was, if possible, even better than all those stories from the Times about how everyone rides their bikes and hangs out at bookstores and listens to The Shins. It was a paradise where food carts served waffle sandwiches, guys with Crass tattoos made their own yogurt, and no one ever asked what you did for a living. (READ MORE) 2
Managed Expectations, Part 7: Coping in Park Slope 2009-07-17
Taken to Bed — A Picnic, of Sorts — Some Advice — Confrontation! — Sick of It — Emergency Action
Even on her happiest days, Nicole hated the jarring sound of her buzzer. The only reason why she ever bothered to answer the door was because she was always hoping UPS would come bearing a check from her agency. Today, there was no money, just Miranda, fresh from her honeymoon in Bora Bora. Someone happy and in love was the last person she wanted to see. (READ MORE) 3
Managed Expectations, Part 6: Guilt Trips In Midtown 2009-07-10
Into Manhattan — The Sexless Therapist — A Great Week! — A Romance Questioned — Who Needs a Hug? — An Awful Shock
If Nicole planned well enough, she could ration her visits to Manhattan to about once a week, revolving around her standing weekly therapy appointment. Brooklyn had a Trader Joe's and a Steven Alan but, for some reason, it still didn't have any decent mental health professionals. So she took an N or a Q to Midtown every week to visit Ruby, her psychoanalytic psychotherapist. (READ MORE) 0
Managed Expectations, Part 5: Flummoxed at the Flea 2009-06-26
When Mindy Became Melinda — A "Birth Story" — Oh, Miss Havisham — A Trip to Fort Greene — A Line for Huaraches — An Ex with Some New Accoutrement — A Much-Desired Encounter! —
The only email Nicole received on Friday night was from Melinda. (READ MORE) 1
Managed Expections, Part 4: A Loft Party In Bushwick 2009-06-19
A Barbie Dream House for Trustafarians – A Non-Dairy Argument – Some Medical Instruction – A Book to Someday Write – A Rescue from Near-Death! – A Text Message
Darshan had been feeling really blocked since the death of Sri K. Pattabhi Jois and had insisted on making her birthday party a wake for him as well. So alongside gluten-free carrot cake and kombucha-vodka cocktails, there was copious incense and, every hour or two, someone from her ashtanga class would try to lead the party in a chant of "lokah samasta sukhino bhavantu." (READ MORE) 6
Managed Expectations, Part Three (A Serial Novel By Marisa Meltzer) 2009-06-12
(Part One: Bummed Out In Brooklyn)
(Part Two: A Tale of Two Weddings)
The Joys of Pet Insurance — A Lesbian Attraction — A Conversation and Some Vomit — A Sighting of the Therapist — A Non-Lesbian Attraction — An Astrological Pattern, Fondly Remembered — A Surprise Encounter!
Creature Comfort was an expensive place, but it was the only vet clinic in Carroll Gardens with its own in-house hydrotherapy room and certified animal acupuncturist. As Nicole waited for a woman with a feverish Himalayan named Kat Cobain to finish checking in, she said a silent goodbye to the Bird sample sale, where she had intended to spend the last $500 she had available on her AmEx. But Toussaint's health had to come first. And maybe she'd get some of the money back; her dog had pet insurance, while Nicole paid her own ambiguously Eastern European doctor in cash for her trio of prescriptions: Singulair, Xanax, and Ambien. (READ MORE) 3
Managed Expectations: Part Two (A Serial Novel By Marisa Meltzer) 2009-06-05
(Part One: Bummed Out In Brooklyn)
Another Trip to the Montauk Club — "The Gift of Privacy with the Excitement of Participation" — The Velvet Underground Repurposed — The Goddess Community Welcomes You! — The Nature of Love — "Woman, Take It Slow" — A Dog Intrudes!
As she applied a generous amount of Touche Éclat to the dark circles under her eyes, Nicole pondered her inability to enjoy weddings. She hated it all: the indignity of having to purchase penis-shaped cookie cutters for bachelorette parties; finding that out your friends, many of whom had minored in Women's Studies, were changing their last names; the self-consciously ribald toasts; the passed hors d'oeuvres that tried to appease vegans and Michael Pollan devotees alike and yet satisfied no one. (READ MORE) 3
Managed Expectations: Part One (A Novel By Marisa Meltzer) 2009-05-29
Our Heroine At Loose Ends — Just Another Memorial Day — "A Social History of the Color Pink" and Some Other Ideas — A Promise to the Astrologer — An Unsatisfactory Text Message
Once, ten years ago, Brooklyn had just been a place where Nicole's grandfather had been born. But now it was home. Manhattan was somewhere she could stare at with a mix of smugness and detachment from Gowanus Memorial Day parties while she drank vodka with agave-sweetened tonic and decided between Franny's and The Farm for dinner. (READ MORE) 5
