What Type of Flirter Are You?
This is not one of those quizzes that you can take before you "download" music/cry at how stupid you are for thinking that shit works, as the title suggests, but there is a quiz somewhere in here! According to some research published in the latest version of Communication Quarterly, flirting can be distilled into a kind of "flirting styles inventory" featuring five easy flirting strategies: physical, traditional, polite, sincere, and playful. Wait until Cosmopolitan gets their hands on this, and then wait a bit longer for me to get my hands on what they do with it. READ MORE
How to Redecorate Your Entire House for the Holidays
There is this phenomenon, perhaps you've heard of it, perhaps your mother is all about it, involving redecorating one's entire house for the holidays, usually Christmas, but it could be anything you wish, as long as that thing is bound to the colors green and red, appreciates the symbolism of the Christmas tree, thinks that pillows hand-stitched [by your grandmother or a teenager in China] are a great way to express holiday spirit/support your lower back, and believes its celebrants have more important things to do than string lights around a tree and put up valuable, been-in-the-family-forever ornaments one at a time for hours. Martha Stewart, who takes care, who works hard, whose attention to detail is admirable, whose modus operandi is all about craft, also happens to have a line of Christmas decor that is none of those things, and it breaks at least one ventricle of my heart. READ MORE
Five Years in New York: To the Class of 2010 from the Class of 2005
To whom it may concern: READ MORE
Liveblogging the Friskies "Adventureland" Commercial
0:01 OK this is
0:02 reasonable enough.
0:03 This looks
0:04 familiar.
0:05 Wait those streamer things
0:06 kind of remind me of a
0:07 Pantene ad. Like illustrating
0:08 the magic of hair chemicals/cat food.
0:09 Now this is like The Lion, The Witch and
0:10 The
0:11 Wardrobe,
0:12 where a weird mirror
0:13 floating in space
0:14 equals wardrobe.
0:15 OK this is just UNFAIR.
0:16 NO CAT
0:17 experiences this kind of
0:18 ecstasy not even
0:19 on CATNIP. The
0:20 animation is atrocious. Those
0:21 turkeys are like something
0:22 from a computer game from 1997. Nanosaur!
0:23 What are the turkeys so
0:24 happy about? He is going to eat
0:25 them! This singing is like
0:26 a backing track on that sellout
0:27 Liz Phair album.
0:28 Don't fall off the
0:29 cliff!!!!!!!! Damn, cats are agile.
0:30 Is that a litter? As in the thing
0:31 that someone rich sits in while minions
0:32 carry it and walk? Oh no, it's a boat.
0:33 Cats hate water! Thank god for pirate ships!
0:34 The cat is meowing as if to say
0:35 "Where the fuck am I?!?!? I want to
0:36 go hooooooooooooooome.
0:37 REOW."
0:38 OK safely in pirate ship.
0:39 Failing to catch any fish because fish are computer-animated.
0:40 Not actually looking directly at fish
0:41 because fish have been fake CG'd into this
0:42 lucy-in-the-sky-with-fishes world.
0:43 Oh yeah,
0:44 OF COURSE SOME RARE ENDANGERED
0:45 PHEASANTS ARE GOING TO ROLL DOWN
0:46 A RED CARPET FOR YOU. OBVIOUSLY.
0:47 (THEY MIGHT JUST BE TURKEYS.)
0:48 Okay now there's an entire drum circle
0:49 of prey.
0:50 Oh but
0:51 maybe they are dancing in a farewell
0:52 like get the fuck out of here
0:53 don't eat us! We'll be nice to you if you
0:54 don't eat us!
0:55 There he/she goes. Wait did he just
0:56 come out of the washing machine?
0:57 Yes the reality is that you are just
0:58 eating 99-cent horse meat.
0:59 SORRY ABOUT THAT,
0:60 MEOWIEKINS. READ MORE
The Only Three Female Musicians, According to Many Male Music Critics
In this February issue of Fictional Indie Music Magazine, we're celebrating! We've finally reached the bottom of our winter promo pile, and oddly enough, all of the remaining promos are by female musicians. This is purely coincidental! And there is no correlation between this and the fact that there is only one female music critic working in this office and we can't remember whether her name is Heather or Jennifer. READ MORE
The Wikipedia Entry for the iPad... Until Today, by Liz Colville
This article is about Apple's allegedly portable device iPad. For other uses, see iPad (disambiguation). For the handheld digital music device, see iPod. For the gadget that looks like something Jon King would flash during a CNN election broadcast, see iPad(2). READ MORE
The Unofficial, Unpublished Introduction To An Unfinished Memoir That You Totally Knew Existed, Discovered by Liz Colville
"Committed is an unfurling of [Elizabeth] Gilbert's profound anxiety about reëntering a legally binding arrangement that she does not really believe in. All this ambivalence, expressed in her high-drama prose, can be a lot to handle. (One generally doesn't indulge another person's emotional processing at this length unless the jabbering is likely to conclude with sex.)" -Ariel Levy, The New Yorker, Jan. 11, 2010. READ MORE
