Wednesday, October 1st, 2014
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All the Lines from the "Interstellar" Trailer, Except with Exclamation Marks

McConaughey: We used to look up in the sky and wonder at our place in the stars! Now we just look down and worry about our place in the dirt!

[Unidentified]: Go for main engines start! T-minus ten!

Caine: We must confront the reality that nothing in our solar system can help us!

[Unidentified]: Nine!

McConaughey: I've got kids, professor! How long would I be gone!

[Unidentified]: Eight!

Caine: I'm asking you to trust me!

[Unidentified]: Seven!

McConaughey: Murph! You have to talk to me Murph!

[Unidentified]: Six!!

McConaughey: We need to fix this before I go!

Foy: You have no idea when [...]

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2

"Calm Down," the Movie

A group of young people return from a week in a remote and disconnected cabin only to find their home city in chaos. Ebola has arrived, and it has gone airborne. Panic and grief overtake these old friends, who don't know what to do. One suggests hiding in her apartment, a converted loft with steel doors, sealed windows, and some canned food. Another offers up his uncle's home in the countryside. One friend, who had been silent since that first abandoned toll booth, interrupts. "We must find him. He can't think we've forgotten."

"Who?" asks the woman with the loft. "We don't have time!" By now even the sirens [...]

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3

The "Times" Opinion Curse

A scene from June: On June 10, Arthur Sulzberger Jr., Mark Thompson and Andrew Rosenthal, along with New York Times Op-Ed columnists Charles M. Blow, David Brooks, Frank Bruni, Roger Cohen, Gail Collins, Ross Douthat, Maureen Dowd, Nicholas Kristof and Joe Nocera, celebrated the launch of NYT Opinion, the new stand-alone Opinion subscription and mobile app, at NeueHouse in New York City.

Other notable attendees: Mayor Bill de Blasio, Lorne Michaels, professional basketball player Jason Collins, Katie Couric, Savannah Guthrie, Charlie Rose, Gayle King, Norah O’Donnell, Mia Farrow, “Orange Is the New Black” creator Piper Kerman, and Barbara Walters.

This was not just a huge party for a new [...]

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Ancestors Bothered

Today in forbear shaming: Marris describes most of Redzepi’s recipes as similarly ‘exotic, oceanic, deep-woodsy, and uncookable’. Serving something as simple as ‘silken fresh cheese and crispy beech leaves’ requires pickling beech leaves in a vacuum pack with apple balsamic vinegar for at least a month…. one wonders what our remote ancestors would think of this culinary fad.

I don't know, what would they think of this essay? What would they think of the computer you made them read it on? Or did you go back in time to show it to them? In which case: Are your arms and legs fading away? Are you disappearing from family [...]

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Cloud Nothings, "Now Hear In"

From Here And Nowhere Else, which came out in April, a video for the album's most energetic track—one of the few that might have fit in on the very fun and very catchy self-titled album, from 2011, which has apparently been reassessed as the product of an "introductory phase" that should now be "eradicated." RUDE.

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The New Ethnic Media

Taffy Brodesser-Akner on Paula Deen's rapid and basically unfettered comeback, after her brief banishment from public life: An investment in Paula Deen conveys a deep understanding of America’s political temperature and where we’re headed: that Paula’s comeback isn’t about forgiveness — it’s about standing her ground…

First, there’s the digital network. Then there’s the 20-city tour of a cooking show with the whole Deen family; according to the venues I checked, which were large, the tour sold quite well. She’s out there reminding everyone that she still exists, that she just won’t be subject to the same scrutiny and censorship she once was. She’s gone rogue, she has, and nobody [...]

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Inherent Vice, Awkward Mood

If the options for an Inherent Vice movie were Joaquin Phoenix reciting Pynchon's best lines in a grave tone OR Joaquin Phoenix slipping in and out of mania while falling down a lot, physically, this seems to have been the right choice. It's just barely apparent in the trailer, but here is something that I'm curious to see in practice: Robert Elswit, longtime Paul Thomas Anderson collaborator, is listed as the movie's cinematographer. Elswit's all BIG SKIES and SYMMETRY and LINGERING SHOTS and MUSCULAR ACTION. There's not a whole lot of comedy in his credits! And certainly nothing quite like this: "It’s a stoner detective film so overstuffed with [...]

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Time Spent

That audience-measuring company Chartbeat has "gained accreditation from the Media Rating Council for attention-based measurement of both content and advertising" is important to advertisers and therefore to all the people whose work and internet time-wasting activities depend on them. This metric, the apparent next metric, after page views and "uniques," is perhaps harder to trick but still easy to optimize for, especially if you're one of the new formless internet publishers—a relatively straightforward video, a quiz, or some as-of-yet unknown demanding media object that can hold you still, if not keep you truly engaged, will, in time terms, usually beat out a written story that takes a long [...]

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Stars, "No One Is Lost"

If you told me that this song was by Stars I would say, oh yeah, obviously, that voice, yeah, I hear it. But if you didn't, I would hesitate to assume. If you told me it wasn't, I would absolutely believe you. Anyway: This is not a new song by some new band from LA or Berlin or The Playa. This is a new song by Stars.

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5

Publishing's Best Worst Friends

The leaders of American "literary culture" are worrying, gathering and organizing: The Wylie Agency has about a thousand clients. Many have not yet responded to Mr. Wylie’s query about Authors United, because they are traveling or are inattentive to email. But about 300 Wylie writers have signed on, as well as the estates of Saul Bellow, Roberto Bolaño, Joseph Brodsky, William Burroughs, John Cheever, Allen Ginsberg, Norman Mailer, Arthur Miller and Hunter S. Thompson.

“Every single response without exception has been positive,” Mr. Wylie said.

There is no reason to doubt that the responses experienced by Andrew Wylie, an extremely powerful agent, have been uniformly positive: His fight on [...]

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Lifestyle Appraised

"We rarely fight, but when we do, we’re forced to choose our battlegrounds carefully. My place is usually out and the dumpster doesn’t work either–it’s impossible to take anything seriously in a one-room box that doesn’t even have a proper door. If a fight needs to be had, we usually end up hashing it out in the relative privacy of a car in a parking lot. I’ve cried my fair share of tears parked between two yellow lines." —The world's most performative dater (previously) on cohabiting in a dumpster.

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Dev Hynes, "Everything Is Embarrassing"

Lost in the slightly tense but mostly tepid feud between songwriter Dev Hynes (aka Blood Orange) and Sky Ferreira over artistic ownership of "Everything Is Embarrassing" is the document itself. Ferreira's version, the enormous hit, is slick and perfect and instantly imprints itself on your brain, where it is stored as just one or two repeating stanzas. Hynes's version, a functional and unpolished demo, feels small and tentative—it sounds embarrassed.

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The Drivers Must Roll

Here is some totally unhelpful but still fascinating background decoration for Uber's incredibly rapid recruitment, containment and domination of its drivers, who, if they work in New York, just found out that their recently and suddenly reduced rates are now permanent, despite protests. It's a passage from Robert Heinlein's 1940 short story, "The Roads Must Roll," in which cars have been replaced by enormous conveyors operated by a largely invisible network of technicians: The speaker pressed his advantage, his words tumbling out in a rasping torrent. He leaned toward the crowd, his eyes picking out individuals at whom to fling his words. "What makes business? The roads! [...]

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New York Endless, "A Consultant's Agreement"

Sunny, approachable computer music that will remind you of a lot of things—this track took me straight to Bugskull, while the next two songs on the EP pointed in different directions entirely. The full stream is here.

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The Internet's Unspoken Zoning Rules

"We’ve also gotten a steady stream of feedback from non-members (including Google) that our design makes the site look dated and neglected, and the information on the site may be untrustworthy as a result," says Metafilter's Matt Haughey, who yesterday announced the site's first new template in over a decade. Machines make unpleasant neighbors.

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Kiesza Feat. Joey Bada$$, "Bad Thing"

Kiesza's new tracks since "Hideaway" have tested two directions forward. There are clubby pop wailers, like "Giant In My Heart;" there was "So Deep," one of a couple tender downtempo experiments. (There was also a winking cover of "What Is Love" sandwiched in between, which should have been bad but wasn't at all.) On "Bad Thing" we get a voice we haven't heard before, low and almost at ease.

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Man Struck By Bike

Columbia professor and New Yorker contributor Samuel G. Freedman writing on the biker threat is a healthy exercise in empathy. For example: If you got hit by a bike—pretty hard—could you imagine formulating and remaining sympathetic to this series of arguments? There are the racers who careen along the park’s six-mile loop, treating it as their private velodrome. There are the tourists who blithely pedal the wrong way, or in the wrong lane, or both simultaneously, despite the clear markings on the roadway. There are the everyday bikers who ignore traffic signals, stop signs, and crosswalks. In the rare instances when I’ve seen a cop around, he or [...]

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Territory Ceded

If you want to take a beautiful vacation but definitely don't want to run into billionaire Larry Ellison, maybe try Lanai, the Hawaiian island he recently purchased: Like a lot of omnipotent forces, Ellison has remained mostly invisible. He has visited Lanai many times — locals told me they can tell he’s on the island when they see his yacht hitched in the harbor — but he seems determined to keep a formal distance from the community, shielding himself behind the executive team of Pulama Lanai, the management company he set up to oversee the island’s transformation. Although Pulama holds frequent public meetings on Lanai, Ellison has declined to [...]

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SALES, "Getting It On"

The first EP from SALES comes out this week, but most of its songs—save for the one above—have been filtering through the internet for months ("Toto" for about a year; the most popular, "Chinese New Year," since January). You wouldn't know the band hadn't released an album if this one didn't exist to remind you. They're very… what is a band supposed to be now? Present? Anyway: You can stream the EP here, and buy it here. It is excellent.

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