Tuesday, March 25th, 2014
19

Checking In With My Pile Of Rejected 'New Yorker' Cartoons

In 2012, in a rare moment of actual confidence, I mailed an envelope of cartoons to famous New Yorker cartoon editor Robert Mankoff (who, for the short number of weeks surrounding this event, I referred to, in my head, as Bob). I never heard back. Which, I mean, was not a surprise. I’d been doing a lot of drawing, almost entirely for the Internet, and almost entirely for free. The Internet can be a tricky thing; sometimes it feels like there are countless outlets and platforms for creative people, and other times, it all just feels a little pointless. Content is disposable, and whether or not you contribute to it, [...]

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12

Work Bathroom

At work, when I don’t want to be at my desk, but also don’t want to be trawling the daytime shit-show streets of Midtown West, I hang out in the office bathroom. Our offices used to be on the Upper West Side, and our setup was a subterranean joke, but each of our bathroom cubicles was a tiny room equipped with a sink, a mirror, and ample floor space. If I had time to kill, I’d snap some selfies, adjust my entire outfit from the undies up, or try on whatever I’d ordered off ASOS. And when, by accident, I cluelessly got the tiny nonprofit I work for charged a [...]

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7

Lipa Schmeltzer, The Hasidic Jew Who Makes Hilarious, Magic Music Videos

It's worth mentioning how I first heard about Lipa Schmeltzer—from my grandparents. They'd just flown back to Melbourne from a visit to New York, where they’d attended a wedding made by the Flatbush contingent of my extended family. The groom, my second cousin, was my age, and the wedding was a particularly extravagant affair. My grandparents were raving about how 1. the event featured a bar made entirely of ice, and 2. someone called Lipa Schmeltzer had performed for the guests. "He had a song all about diets!" exclaimed my grandfather. "How did it go, Nechama?" he asked my grandmother, both of them laughing. That was a number of years [...]

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26

What Kind Of Girls Do You Like?

It’s November. Nice Girl has flown out to L.A. to visit her cousin, who’s just had a new baby. They’re walking along Santa Monica pier when her cousin—who, as it happens, is also named Monica—says, “Oh, you look so beautiful in this light. Let me take a photo?” Nice Girl beams and faces her cousin, her body slightly turned to the side, revealing the gentle curve of her breast. “What are you doing?” says Monica, lowering her Samsung Galaxy. “Oh!” exclaims Nice Girl, as she quickly repositions herself, turning around to look at the camera from over her shoulder. Her smile is wide, her white teeth show, but if you [...]

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