Now, I don’t think I ever actually believed in Santa. The closest I came was a slow-burning conviction that his name was Santa Sauce because he was, in some sense, actually a marinara-ladled meatball given life and laugh and beard. I don’t think that counts, really—certainly a meatball could never hold a sleigh’s reins, or operate a multinational corporation—so I'll claim that I knew from day zero that Santa was, strictly speaking, a kind of lie.
But he's a useful lie. One that parents can deploy to effectively trick children into not behaving like tiny sociopaths who are too short to drive themselves to school. (Imagine attempting to get full [...]
SCANDALIZING TANTALIZING NEWSWEEK COVER
Nothing makes a bigger splash than a daring headline, and nobody does daring like Newsweek! Whether it’s comparing liberals to terrorists or single mothers to other, angrier terrorists, you’re sure to get everyone’s blood boiling in this 100% recycled newsprint costume. Comes with swappable covers to maximize offense to whoever will be seeing you in it, and racy advertorial bustier that’ll really get his pages flipping.
$6.99. One size fits all, available for shipping to US only.